Hello!
I'm a 17 years old female.
I experienced my worst panic attacks around 21-26 July (I was out of the country). The first night was the worst. It was triggered mainly by "significant personal loss, including an emotional attachment to a romantic partner, life transitions, severe emotional distress, significant life change", but also from fears I have had before and by a particular situation and stress and probably other things. Whatever the reasons, until 5a.m. uncontrollable fear and anxiety kept me awake. It was the most intense thing I've ever felt. I thought that I had a heart attack, that I was going crazy, that I have very high temperature and during the whole time I was in a hotel room 1500km away from my home. I rarely leave my house anyway so being away really made things worse for me.
During the next days I had a couple of panic attacks, but they weren't as bad and I thing they were mostly triggered by fear that I was going to have a panic attack again... Because it happened at night, the moment it started getting dark the next days, I went to bed and tried to fall asleep. I also felt the depersonalisation and derealisation and really thought I was crazy and I was never going to be my old self.
Ever since I came home, I haven't had a panic attack. It's been around 15 days since, but I can't stop having fears that I will feel this panic again. I'm really scared and kind of annoyed. I wish I didn't have to go through this, I want to have control and stop being afraid.
Out of everything that I've felt in my life, this uncontrollable fear and anxiety is the worst. I cannot read a book or watch a movie without comparing every bad feeling to a panic attack. Back then I didn't know there was a term that combined all I felt. Now that I've read more about
panic attacks and panic disorder, I know it's normal and others have experienced it. Yet I still have this fear of it happening again every day. Now as I write this, I don't feel it quite as much.
This has a calming effect on me: "While the various symptoms of a panic attack may cause the person to feel that their body is failing, it is in fact protecting itself from harm."
I would be thankful if anyone takes time to read this or to say something, but even writing it made me feel better for now. :)
Post Edited (Scarlett09) : 8/6/2013 4:35:23 PM (GMT-6)