Diagnosis & longggggg weekend

Sorry I've been out for a while! Was just looking over the number of new posts and thinking I'll never be able to catch up with what I missed... I hope everyone is doing okay.

Hubby and I took a "selfish" weekend. We were planning to go to an anime convention, but he had a HUGE panic attack and we left. We went back a second time and he panicked before I actually turned into the parking lot. So, basically we registered, left and didn't go back. It was an expensive experiment, but that's okay. He really, really, really wanted to go, so I hate that he couldn't push through. However, I got some insight at my psychiatrist appt that may help him make it next time. :)

We ended up going and getting tattoos and eating out. I'm going to catch it from my counselor, because she's advised me to avoid painful things for recreation. But, honestly, I didn't get this tattoo just for the experience - I've wanted one in that location for a while.

Yesterday, I finally got to see a psychiatrist for an official diagnosis.

Apparently, I don't actually even have a panic disorder.

She said I had treatment-resistant Major Depressive Disorder.

She said that I've reached a state of Psychosis from going too long without proper treatment. She attributes the panic attacks, OCD tendencies, voices, etc. to Psychosis. So, she doesn't think I have a dozen disorders, although I'm displaying symptoms of them. She said schizoaffective disorder (s/p?) is a possibility, but shouldn't be diagnosed yet.

She said it would likely take up to a year to find the right combination of medications, but that once we found them, I should be okay. A year seems like eternity right now, but at least I feel like there's hope. She told me to continue with therapy and you guys. :)

She kept me on 40 mg of Celexa, since it was recently changed, but said that she'd probably change my SSRI in coming months. She switched me from .5 mg doses of Klonopin to 1 mg doses of Xanax. She added an antipsychotic and a mood stabilizer, but I don't have the bottles handy and forgot the names. She took me off of ambien and told me not to worry about my sleep pattern, as long as I could function. She said that sleeping pills weren't the answer to sleep problems from Psychosis.

So, even though it's not a true anxiety disorder, they are real panic attacks, and I LOVE y'all, so I'm going to keep hanging out with you guys, okay?

I'm going to post about hubby in a separate post, b/c it may help others.

hi I just have a quick question regarding your klonopin and Xanax.

How much of the klonopin were you taking a day, I know you said .5mg, but was that the entire amount?

And why did they switch you to Xanax?

I ask because I have been on clonazepam .5mg at bedtime and morning for a year now and I am so dissatisfied with the way it makes me feel.

I have taken Xanax in the past (short term and felt much better on that) drs think that klonopin is the better way to go because of its longer half life

But I am considering going back to xanax

Big (((hugs)))!

A lot of mental health issues are chronic/permanent...but that is not synonymous with unchanging!

With treatment, you will come a long way in meeting the challenges that you are facing with victory! It is just hard to see that right now...but later on, looking back, you will be able to see how far you came, and how things improved.

S.C.