Ok. I've never been diagnosed with a panic/anxiety disorder but I am such a hypochondriac and I freak out about
things I cannot control. When I was younger I developed the phobia of vomit. I hate this phobia and I get really stressed out when I hear anything about
it or when the flu is going around. I do tend to stress out easily and I thought, for the most part, that I could cover it up pretty good.
Last year I started to have this pain in my armpit. I thought it was from straining myself weight lifting. The pain would come and go and I never really thought anything of it. Then lately it had gotten worse and then seemed to radiate to my breast. I also got "diagnosed" with costochondritis because of a pain on my rib right under the same breast. Since my grandma got died of breast cancer at age 32 (I'm now 34) I always fear the worst. Cancer is one of my biggest fears.
So last week i called and made an appt with my gyno and couldn't get in until yesterday. So all last week I was in pain.....not just in one armpit but both and then the middle of my chest and then my neck (front and back) would feel like it was tensing up and if I would relax it would spasm. I swear I felt myself more last week than i ever have in my whole life. In my mind i was dying from breast cancer, lymphoma, heart attack...etc.
Well I had my appt yesterday and my Dr is so nice. She tried to tell me I am not crazy. She also did an extensive breast exam and didn't feel anything. Felt my lymph nodes and they were all fine. I then mentioned my heart and she said we can do an EKG. I said that would be fine (thinking it's something that needs to be scheduled). We talked a little bit more and she said "ok, i'll send the nurse in to do your ekg". I was in shock because i didn't realize we could do it right then and there. So she left the room and I start to feel pain and my neck tense up. My husband, who went with me, said "you are having anxiety. this is what is causing this". Well my EKG came back perfect and she assured me that as far as she can see I am fine. She suggested I see a Family Dr to make sure she didn't miss something.
Well after my appt I felt fine. I was thinking "i'm good. she eased my mind" and then I went to work and the more I think about it i'm thinking 'OMG, what if the tumor is so deep that she can't feel it. Now, my pain is a lot better than what it was but it's still there. By the end of the day my arms are achy all the way down to my finger joints. Am I going nuts?!!!
My mind is always running "what to make for supper....i wonder if the kids have a lot of homework.....what day is it? is it close to pay day? will we have enough money to get us to pay day?......oh i hate the phones at work....why am i the only one that knows how to do some things at work...ohmygosh...what's that pain....it's gotta be a tumor....i better WebMD it.....oh crap it for sure is.....what's going to happen to my famil....i can't leave them!"
Is this normal?? Please tell me i'm not alone. If it is anxiety, wouldn't my blood pressure be up? My blood pressure is always good