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Could this get any worse?

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Posted 10/28/2013 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hey guys!

Seems like i need you guys more than anyone else right now. If you remember my issue, I was in a very emotionally and mentally abusive relationship where i was controlled, manipulated, threatened and kept like a caged animal, punished for anything and everything that happened in his life. I have been miserable about going to college and had panic attacks each time id even see him ever since the break up. I broke up on 19th september when i got a job on campus and he didnt clear it and started abusing me, threatening me and punishing me for getting the job while he didnt. Its been torturous getting to where i am and no1 seems to understand what i am going through. Today, just when i had started to practice pushing all thoughts and nightmares about him, i get to know that the very same company where i have landed a job had called him back and he cleared the interview and has landed up n the same company as me now. This has never happened before where a company has come back after recruiting the same season n recruited more.
I have been praying since the day things ended for me to heal, for forgiveness in case ive caused him any harm or hurt and for the lord to help my life get a lil easier.
I dont know where this whole job thing came out of and i cnt understand y all of this is happening to me. I just cnt stop crying cause i have been wanting to get away from this guy ever since the break up and not see his face and i thought it was till May that i would have to hold myself together only to now know that hes landed up in the same company as me and that period is going to be much much much longer. No1 seems to get what this means to me and how much this has disturbed me. people in college are just looking at me and laughing n saying "poor girl, shes totally stuck man", so called friends are looking at me saying" why cnt u just get over all this crap and get on with it, u cnt help the situation so shutup already". Parents say " so now u cnt join this company, start looking for a job all over again". THIS IS NOT FAIR! THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING TO ME!!!! ARRRGGHHHH!
Posted 10/28/2013 4:16 PM (GMT 0)
I feel so bad for you but really have no answers. Now my thoughts on your problem are first and foremost - he is stalking you -perhaps you could speak to someone in your University and ask what you can do or should do.
Secondly, the person that hired you in this company - did you get to know any of them by name or is there one person in particular that you will be working under. You might want to find out if he is in the exact same area you are going to be. This is all of course, if you feel ok with doing this. Don't any of your friends see that he is stalking you and how he has treated you in the past.

No one should have to go through this and obviously your friends and family just don't get it. Being abused mentally and physically changes who you are and a little support from them would be helpful. I think the place to start is someone at the top of your University - do they have counsellors there - that could be a start too.

I am sorry you are going through such a terrible time, but one can hope he will find someone else and move on. I will say a little prayer for you. Don't make yourself sick over this. Go about your business and I would look and see what other job options are out there. Yes, I agree you shouldn't have to do that, but it might be an easier fix than charging him with stalking.

Stay strong and remember he is the one with the problem - Hope your day goes a little better today. turn
Posted 10/28/2013 7:12 PM (GMT 0)
Faith this is about You, and Your health and well being. Stay with your job, it's yours not his and you need to
feel strong about what you do on this job for your own sake. If he even slightly bothers you on the job he
will end up getting fired, remember Faith he will become a victim of his own design, and fall in his own trap.
"Do what is right, do your best, stay nice, don't allow this jerk to control your life and happiness". Peace

Larry ***
Posted 10/28/2013 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
F&M,

I am so sorry to hear this! I can imaginge how dismayed you must be to know that you will be in the same workplace with the subject of your anxiety.

My advice would be to completely ignore his presence however. Keep an eye out certainly...for your safety...but most likely, it sounds like it was just chance that he ended up in the same job out of college.

Especially if you are in a smaller area, with limited first job opportunities. Probably, you will both be too busy and possibly in different departments to have any face to face contact...and you can just get on with your new vocation.

If however, he starts to bother you in any way, keep a written record of the behavior and let your and his supervisiors know. This may be enough for his dismissal. (I don't know about the laws where you live...but there is zero tolerance for it here.)

You are stronger than you realize and can do this. He has no power over you whatsoever. Keep telling yourself these things, and go forward with your bright future!

S.C.
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