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hello its me again ! working on my recovery! Pure ocd

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Posted 11/17/2013 6:36 AM (GMT 0)
i am waiting to see if this weird sleepy, tired , negative, sad and strange sensation passes. I just want lexapro withdrawal out of my system to start working on my pure ocd ' ocd whatever it is. I been having tons of intrusive thoughts. From now on I will not say what are this thoughts because I think if I do i am like checking if its true. Anyway what I been doing is taking everything that i am feeling right now with no prescription or anything, nothing not xanax for panic attack or anything.I am trying just surrender to all this . I am a tough person and I am trying to get better. But Sometimes is hard, I just say OMG it has been since february that I am having this issues when will i be ok ! I did not have a job since february until october , because of prescription , anxiety issues and medication intents that did not worked.It was a hard time for me for 3 months I had so much problems and side effects, I was locked in my house because I couldn't even stand. I never thought prescriptions could make you have a reaction like that.I think it affected me a lot it, because now every time i try to get a job i wonder if i would feel good, what if i panic or feel bad because of my ocd and anxiety even traveling. I think is because i been in anxiety brake down this time. Last month I got two part time jobs , but I don't have much hours, I want to get better so I can get an internship . I will graduate next december , thanks god my classes and everything is ok. I am upset that somehow these stupid prescriptions did not helped me and caused me so much problems. I want to recover my life what I had, I want to be active do things and I travel. It makes me upset , I think I want to recover right away, maybe this anxiety will take time and I have to realize that. I am upset i started to feel somehow better with lexrapo since july, i felt better but not good. I feel upset that I been loosing so much time on this. I think I will try clonazepan or ativan, and forget about magical pills to help for ocd. Before february my life was normal , with ocd but normal and that is what i want if clonazepan doesn't work then i will try yoga, tea, meditation, i will move out , i will do exercesice anything but i will get my life back !
Anyway I just wanted to share that !

Thank you for reading please share your thoughts!

Luna
Posted 11/17/2013 7:46 AM (GMT 0)
It sounds like you have already allowed yourself to ride out the panic and anxiety without meds, almost
everyone I know that has been to this point and just toughed it out can mark their recovery from that day.
Once we really realize that this condition has no power over us except fear, then we start to analize the
fear itself, once we pick the fear apart and accept that some things are inevietable we can put them in their
place when they raise their ugly head, "You can do this". Peace

Larry ***
Posted 11/17/2013 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Luna,

I would encourage you to keep going with whatever keeps your symptoms and mood in the best possible place.

Talking with your doctor for input is always wise, but ultimately the decision is yours in how you will proceed.

Therapy is also a suggestion that I can definitely recommend....especially since you are going without the medication now. If and when your schedule allows, I hope that you can find someone, or a program that can help you to learn the tools to lessen/overcome the issues that are bothering you.:)

Keep posting. We understand and are in support!

S.C.
Posted 11/19/2013 2:11 AM (GMT 0)
I am ok thank you for answering. What happens is I waiting for the lexapro side effects to pass. I feel so lethargic, so tired , so nervous and scared. I went to my job and It was ok, I will take it day by day. I have many doubts, i doubt about many things and I have many fears. I try to tell myself to calm down and that is just anxiety. My anxiety makes me think " what if it is not ? what if that what I fear does happen? what if i am really this or that ?then I feel depressed but not to the point of I want to die, I am scared of actually having this thoughts I love my family and fiancee so much, I really love my life.
I am upset to be honest that i been like 10 months this way. what makes me more angry is no medicine makes me feel normal. It makes me upset that my doctor has no idea of what he is doing, and it makes me upset that right now i can't get good therapy because of my insurance. Regardless I am going to psychiatrist I used to be scared of going to one because I have going crazy OCD, but right now i don't care I want to healthy. I have been diagnosed with ocd for 2 therapists and 2 psychiatrists but it always hard to go to one.
Maybe if I keep myself super busy I won't think about my anxiety this much!Its really annoying to have ocd but i must find the way to be ok. i did it when i was 12 I completely forgot about ocd until i was 18 , then i had a panic attack then forgot until the age of 21. It was then when I decided to find out what I had.
I never took a single pill not even for panic attacks, I was a happy normal person ! I want my life back i feel just very upset at having this for so long.

Thank you for answering my posts, I will keep posting because no one understands but other person that suffers this! some people seriously don't even know what OCD is , and have no idea that Pure OCD also exists!

Have a good night, thank you again for reading ! you have no idea is like a therapy for me !

Post Edited (Lunakg1) : 11/19/2013 12:59:14 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/19/2013 2:16 AM (GMT 0)
Larry thank you for answering. It is very true, this disease is about just realizing that it is all fear ! I want to feel panic and fear so I know how to accept what I have and not feel bad about it. It has been hard, because I think until now I still hate having ocd. I hate this disease and I feel like why I have this ?!!!Then I wonder and fear would I ever be ok again?
It is hard but I want to conquer my fears , I want to learn to live with fear and not always want to be sure of things.

Thank you for caring !
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