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Scared of being on my own at night

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Posted 11/20/2013 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Ive had this for a while, just wanted to check its anxiety and if there are any coping strategies I can use for it:

Everytime my husband goes away with his job, or just if hes away in general, im extremely anxious about being on my own at night...I have two kids and I think thats worse...Im terrified of someone breaking in - its never happened, but I sit there and listen for every noise as soon as I get into bed. Fine during the day on my own

Sleep is pretty much non existent when this happens, i don't know how to calm myself...i know it is probable that it wont happen, but I always think of my escape route...does anyone else have this sheer panic when left alone at night?

Of course when I don't sleep it flares up my fibromyalgia :o(
Posted 11/20/2013 10:07 PM (GMT 0)
I'm not sure I can offer any suggestions, but I can definitely share in your experience.

When my Husband has to go away, whether it's for one night or one week, I can't sleep.  I just don't.  It's like my body can feel he isn't there and every sense is on high alert, listening to every noise,...even the nightlights feel too bright.  I have difficulty relaxing during these times.

So in that regard, know you're not alone!

M.

Posted 11/20/2013 10:22 PM (GMT 0)
Wackers,

I am sorry that you are not able to sleep because of this anxiety.

Do you have a trusted neighbor that you can have on speed dial...and one that you can ask to keep an extra eye (and ear) out when your husband is away?

I live on a cul-de-sac, and therefore feel surrounded by neighbors in a sense.

Perhaps keeping the t.v. on or having an inexpensive alarm system installed could also help?

Hoping that you can find some ways to feel more at ease.

S.C.
Posted 11/20/2013 11:31 PM (GMT 0)
S.C. brought up a great idea (as always), one that I used to utilize and haven't done in a while.

When my anxiety is particularly high, when I'm feeling vulnerable, and also because I spend most of my day alone, something I did was leave the TV running.

For me, it worked (where-as music did not).

There was something comforting about hearing other voices talking, conversation....I'd even sleep in front of the TV if I had to.  And it helped.

When we didn't have a TV, I'd load something onto the computer and lay on the couch, and listen to that.

Sometimes just the noise,...the absence of the silence that tries to get your attention,...can be enough to distract as well as calm.

M.

Posted 11/20/2013 11:37 PM (GMT 0)
The new home security systems are good and cheep, if the sign is in your yard a professional theif will go
some where else. You need to work out a system within the house in case of intruder, work it out with your
husband, "a what to do if list". You probably do not want a gun, but a new taser and can of mace, and don't
for get the ball bat, when he's down make him pay!

I am not anti-firearm I am anti-accident!

Larry ***
Posted 11/21/2013 10:18 AM (GMT 0)
ah thanks everyone for the advice...Im in UK, so not allowed guns. I have often thought about throwing my cat at someone, but my cats are so dopey not sure their claws would come out in the desired way!
Leaving TV on in bed might work, il try that tonight. Last night wasn't too bad, I slept 10 -12 (little girl woke me up at 12 crying) then awake for 2 hours, then slept 2 - 5...then little boy woke me up at 5:30...this is good for me as often wake several times in the night anyway...so the fact I slept around 5 hours on a night my husband is away is fantastic! I wore ear plugs in to drown out any peculiar noises (but can still hear children cry) maybe this will work from now on
Posted 11/21/2013 12:21 PM (GMT 0)
hi, i'm frequently alone in the house as my sister travels a lot.

i think pets can be a wonderful comfort - cats or dogs or anything else. they will probably react if anything strange happens, to warn you if something is wrong. all the other suggestions on here are helpful too. personally i leave a lot of lights on and that seems to help me in terms of worrying about intruders.

i wish you good luck and good sleep!
Posted 11/21/2013 4:28 PM (GMT 0)
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that part.

When Hubby travels, and I'm alone, it's true, the sound of TV in the background seems soothing, even on low volume.

But yes, I have a big dog.  And he has a big bark.  He's also extremely vigilant.  If anyone unfamiliar comes near the property, his bark is sufficient to alarm.

Plus we have signs posted "DOG" on the doors.

They're deterrents.

Pets have got to be the most comfortable, comforting, loving, snuggly things around.  Especially when you're feeling scared and anxious.

Display brought up an excellent idea!

M.

Posted 11/21/2013 6:52 PM (GMT 0)
There are all kinds of gadgets one can get to use for protection. Here are some that are quite inexpensive:
http://happytech.org/eight-epic-but-still-affordable-home-security-gadgets/
And I think a dog is a great option, especially if you can save one from the pound! :)
janetlee
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