laineyk,First of all I understand your question and please do not fear that we are going to judge you so no "throat jumping"
I have used Xanax but for me the Valium is the drug I use as it has a longer half life as well as it comes in doses as small as 2 mg which could even be cut in half to make one mg.
My prescription is for 2 mg up to 5 times per day. Some days I never touch it but when my anxiety is off the charts like on chemo days I will use this med and have been for 5 years and find it helps me.
I do not have any memory problems or untoward side effects.
Kindly,
Kitt