anxious as usual this morning

this morning all my anxiety is about my teeth and denture. i have a couple of sore spots. i have done what i could to make them better, just anxious about them hurting today. and having to come home or go to the dentist.

i already missed Monday morning due to teeth problems, and i am due to take Friday afternoon off. so i don't want to miss anymore work if possible. i may be being anxious about something that isn't really an issue. people take off work when they have to, where i work.

i got an adjustment on monday and so now it will take some time for the denture to feel comfortable again.

i get depressed when i think of having to deal with this denture every day for the rest of my life.

i also get depressed that no one else seems to be dealing with health issues, although i don't really know that to be the case. i just wish there was someone else i work with who had denture issues or someone else in real life who deals with them.

it is really hard for me to get up in the mornings and go through the drill of getting up and getting ready for work. early morning is my hardest time. it's like i am on pins and needles waiting for the day to get started, so that it will end.

i question the whole concept of God or Higher Power and why he gives me so many troubles. I imagine no one else has to deal with this, even though in my brain I know there are others who deal with much more.

i dream of the day when i don't have to deal with going to work anymore, even though that is several years away. i know people with bad depression who are on disability, sometimes i wish i were one of them.

i wonder sometimes if i am going through a lot of old feelings i hadn't felt yet. mornings certainly remind me of childhood, when i just had to "suck it up" and didn't have anyone to talk to about really serious problems. i was just left on my own to deal with pain.

that's everything i can think of!

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I have no first hand experience but I can offer some second hand support! My dad recently made the decision to have both upper and lower dentures done. He was very anxious about his procedure and all went well. I do know that there is quite a bit of time involved in getting adjusted to them and he felt similar to how you do about the life-long change. My good news is that his social improvements are quite dramatically noticeable! He approaches our customers with a much wider smile and isn't afraid to engage in conversation with them anymore. His confidence has benefited greatly and kept him quite sociable. I'm unsure of whether or not he struggles on a personal level with them anymore. He used to be very vocal about them and now I don't hear a single complaint. That leads me to believe that just like someone with a prosthetic limb has to cope and adjust - it may not be instant but there is a beautiful view at the top of the hill! Just keep climbing! He tells me all the time that I have to find a silver lining. I am struggling through some intermittent depression these days and I know when it hits, its hard to find a bright spot. I find it most relieving when someone else points one out to me...

Hang in there and best of luck!

James