Sigh, Ugh, and ARGHHHH!!!!

It was very nice of the niece to let her know, Janet when someone has been hurt by a man it's easy for me
to see how it could really muddy the water for the rest of us, Peace.

Larry ***

I saw my niece at her job today. She asked me, "what did Granny say?" When I told her that Mom said nothing at all, but had just shook her head, I could see Eb's disappointment and I hated it for her. I told her to not let Mom suck the joy out of it for her. She said "I know...but she's my Granny!!" Yes, Grannies are supposed to be happy for their grandbabies, aren't they? It made me sad, but there's nothing I can do. I just made sure to hug her and let her know how happy I was for her and tell her how lovely the ring was! i did assure her that Granny had become resigned to the idea that she was getting married and Eb said that at least that was a start...
Later on this evening, Mom asked me out of the blue about whether Eb's fiance had given her a ring or not. I told her that he had and said a few more things about it. I told her that Eb was disappointed that she wasn't happy for her. Mom said, "I'm happy if she's happy. I want her to be happy. But I can't say I'm happy she's getting married. I do hope it works out though."
That's as good as it's going to get from Mom. I will tell Eb about it. I had made up my mind that i wasn't going to mention anything about Eb and her engagement unless mom asked me ! And am glad that I stuck to my guns!
janet

Larry,
My Mom's manipulated me all of my life. Even knowing at times that she was doing it, I still couldn't stand up to it and would bend to her will. Sad to say, in some ways, I'm still that same little girl...scared of upsetting/disappointing/angering/saddening my Mom. But where my Eb is concerned, she doesn't have to live here and be immersed in it 24/7 like I have all of my life. I will do everything I can to shield her from the biggest brunt of it! Mom even admitted to me the other week that lots of times that she's not as mad or upset as she lets on, but she likes to see us fret over how she feels....Mom thinks it's funny. It made my sick. I think though that she does it b/c it reassures her mind that we care about HER feelings when she sees us worry. She has NO reason to do that however! Heaven knows that I've proven I care every blasted day of my pathetic little life and Eb is such a sweet gentle young woman that has always shown how much she cares that it just infuriates me that Mom gets a perverse kick out of our discomfort.
Now Mom REALLY IS disappointed that Eb's getting married, but she also likes to come across as more disgruntled than she even is.
I love my Mom. For the most part she's a loving person, but in some ways, she's a supreme manipulator. I feel so extremely guilty sometimes b/c as much as I love her, sometimes I can hardly stand the sight of her.
jl