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Feel like I'm going crazy

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 1/7/2014 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
It all started almost a month ago. I had a dull, nagging headache and asked my husband to come home early to take me to immediate care. Neurologically I was fine, but the physicians assist an recommended going to the ER for a second opinion since I didn't have a PCP to follow up with. They did a CT scan and drew blood. Everything was totally normal but the ER doc wanted me to follow up with a neurologist. She sent me for an MRI of my brain and cervical spine, but also ordered physical therapy since my shoulders were tight and knotty and she though the stress in there may be traveling to my neck and stuff. MRI came back normal. Then one night I had this crazy feeling, my heart was pounding so rapidly and I had tingling in both arms. (Quick backtrack, the original visit to immediate care also included a tingling feełing on my left side of face.) So I ended up calling 911. I was home alone with my little one. Totally freaking out. The medics came quickly and felt things were fine. My vitals were obviously elevated but nothing dangerous. They stayed here a long time and while they were sitting with me, things started to calm down a lot. They said they didn't see anything that indicated a stroke or heart trouble but said I should go to the ER for my own peace of mind. My husband was home by this point and agreed that I should go. I requested they check my heart. They did and ECG and bloodwork. Everything was fine. That ER doc called my neuro and they suggested I try Xanax.

I had been on Xanax before. about 8 years ago. I was having difficulty breathing and my PCP at the time sent me for a chest X-ray. Normal. Because of what I had been going through at the time he thought anxiety.

So now here I am. I followed up with a PCP at the immediate care center and she said they did a great job doing being thorough and that she only wanted to test my thyroid. And I asked for a lipid panel. All normal, cholesterol really good.

But my heart keeps pounding even when I first wake. My muscles in my shoulders ache and it radiates down into my arms and up into my neck and sometimes face. Once in a while I have the breathing trouble I did before. Like I need to take a really deep breath. I have to remin myself to relax my shoulders all day. I'm on .25 mg of Xanax twice a day as needed. Sometimes it helps, sometimes not so much. I have cut down on googling my symptoms, but found a heart rate app that I keep checking all the time. I keep thinking there is something more wrong with me. How can this all just be anxiety.

I mean, yeah, I am a nonstop worrier all darn day about everything. I cannot turn my mind off ever. But why now? So is it something more?

I feel crazy. Thank you for listening.

ME
Posted 1/7/2014 3:31 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome to the family :-)
And to answer your question, no you're not crazy. You are having panik attacks. You did all the tests, went to the ER, and all is good. This is your anxiety acting up. I know it because it happens to me all the time (exactly the way you've described it). Your physical symptoms are all real and painful and scary. However you are NOT in any imminent danger. Do a little test: when you feel like this, go on your computer and watch a funny video on YouTube or call a friend and talk to them. Distract yourself for a few minutes and I bet you that you will feel much better. If you were really ill, a distraction would not cure you.
If that does not work, come back here and talk to us. There always someone here to listen, and help you feel better. I hope you feel better.
Hugs
Eli
Posted 1/7/2014 4:42 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Eli :)

That made me cry. In a good way. Lately I cry all the time, too. I feel like a wreck. I hate that anyone else feels this way ever, but I am glad my constant googling led me here. It really helps me to feel not crazy and not alone.
Posted 1/7/2014 4:46 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Motherearth and welcome.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this anxiety and its awful symptoms currently.:(

Besides your medication, what have you tried for relief? Therapy and self-help are both effective treatment options that I would encourage you to look into if you have not already.

In our Resources (main page, 1st post) we have a lot of great information and ideas on anxiety management. There are even two book reccomendations on the subject of health anxiety that you might find helpful. The breathing and progressive muscle relaxation as well as practices such as meditation and journaling are also beneficial.

Being part of an understanding and supportive group is also a big part of recovery...so keep posting with us!:)

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 1/7/2014 4:50 AM (GMT 0)
My pleasure :-)
Please don't give up and don't feel too bad. You are definitely not alone. If you need to talk, let me know.
Together, we will beat this!
Posted 1/7/2014 5:30 AM (GMT 0)
Hi , I know first hand what you are going through , been there still there , take it from me , I have tons of EKG , bloodwork , stress test , echo , and even a heart cath , everything is fine but yet I fear something is wrong with me , my cardiac test said I had the last test he could give me which was a cardiac cath , And I'm fine ... It's been a year and a half of this , take it from me , tons of test later , specialist after specialist sync they can't find anything , it's anxiety , it will play on your mind and make you feel like its your last day on earth ,... I will keep you in prayer ...
Posted 1/7/2014 2:34 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone. Really, your words mean so much.

I haven't started anything else to help yet. My friend was dealing with some major anxiety issues over the summer and she is a lot better now. She is on medication and she is seeing a therapist. Her therapist suggested this one workbook and I just ordered it for myself. I will start going to a therapist, too. I just need to find one close enough. The resources page is great and I will definitely be looking into some of the techniques there to help me through the day in the meantime.

I know I need to stay off google. It's so hard! Again I woke up at 5 am and I felt like my heart was pounding out of my chest. I checked my pulse and it was 84. Then I started feeling bad tingling all down my shoulder, left arm and in my chest on the left side. I turned on the tv and watched a recording of Jimmy Fallon and my heart rate was starting to lower, down into the 70s, then mid-60s. The other feelings faded, not all the way, but a lot. I finally fell back asleep a couple hours later only to wake to my pulse being around 84 again! My child has since woken and is laying with me on the sofa and it's not as noticeably pounding. Is this really anxiety causing this higher resting heart rate?

I have a physical therapy appointment tomorrow for my shoulder/neck tension. (As I write that it reminds me to untense them. And my face, too.) Then I have a visit with my PCP Thursday. I suspect I have a yeast infection (sorry for TMI) but I want to talk to her also about trying something other than Xanax just to get me through until I get into therapy.

I really want to just feel like me again.
Posted 1/7/2014 6:14 PM (GMT 0)
ME,

I am glad to hear that you are getting that recommended workbooK! These are great tools, and will give you a jumpstart on working through skills, before you can get into see someone.:)

I hope that you get the answers that you need from you doctor on Thursday. Hopefully you can discuss the best form of treament to help you through this time.

Until then, do try some of the stress relief exercises in our Resources. Your heart rate was not alarmingly high...but if it is bothering you, the breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, ect. should help to lower it and keep you calm.

Talk to you soon,

S.C.
Posted 3/4/2014 4:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone, I literally just signed up today after god knows how many searches I have done to see if I am going crazy or not and I just wanted to share my experience so hopefully it can be of some comfort to someone and maybe someone can comfort me too. Basically I have suffered with depression since I was 16 and am currently on 50mg of Paroxetine a day which usually stops me from going below a certain point about two weeks ago I had a panic attack literally out of nowhere and then for about a week or so after that I honestly thought I was losing my mind as I felt so spaced out and even though I have been through this twice before, it still scared the hell out of me and I even called an ambulance at one point(course they cant do anything)so I saw the GP and they gave me Propanalol 80mg but that did not really help to be fair, so I have been looking online and found so much helpful information and I started feeling normal-ish again until yesterday when I started feeling spaced out again and its such a horrible feeling that I cant even explain, I have been off work for past 2 weeks and I just want to get back to normal :( I know it is anxiety that causes it but its so hard to think rationally when I feel so spaced out.

Hope everyone who reads this is feeling better
Posted 3/4/2014 4:41 PM (GMT 0)
I read your post and saw a lot of myself in it however I wanted to help calm you some and just say that your high pulse of mid 80s is something most of us with anxiety would love to have. My pulse when anxious all day runs about 100 when I'm up and moving around I'm at 120-130 easily. My pulse will go down too when I'm relaxed and sitting from the 70s to the 80s but the second I get anxious there it goes again over 100. I have a script for propranolol to take prn but I try to avoid it if I can. I hope this helps I'm an RN and a pulse like yours is not abnormal at all that is well within normal limits. I'm sure if your used to it being low though it can still be scary. The suggestion of taking your mind off of things does really help if your feeling anxious get up and move around some if you can. Im sending positive energy your way!!
Posted 3/4/2014 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sean,

Welcome to HW. You're in with a good crowd that will provide support and comfort, and as you share more with us, you'll realize how "not alone" you really are! :)

Since this was your first post, (and we hope to hear more from you), we find it helpful when new posters "start a new topic" thread, and give us an introduction to who you are, and a bit of your history.

It sounds like you'll be able to help a lot of people, and we've got lots of sharing on board.

Looking forward to hearing more from you!





M.
Posted 3/4/2014 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hello motherearth,

I know that feeling oh so so very well.
I once had trouble breathing at first and couldn't control it and ended up in a hospital bed.. it wasn't good. They checked my chest, my heart rate and all and everything came back normal except for the my chest, it was constricted and the blood pressure's spiking a little but overall, everything's fine. My doctor then gave me propranolol and bromazepam. It worked well.

I would always get paranoid whenever my chest starts to feel like it's very constricted and it seems like I couldn't get any air in and have to really concentrate on breathing until I get that 'just right' amount of air inside. I'd usually not think about it and instead distract myself with something else. I know it's hard because then you would over think about it and think that you're gonna die, well let me tell you here that you're definitely aren't going to die. I stayed up for the whole day and night having breathing difficulty every 10-15 mins then be fine the next time and when I got it again, I got worried and became stressed out, thinking that I'm gonna die but hey, here I am, writing this post.

You shouldn't over think that much and think as if you're crazy. Just concentrate on calming down, relaxing everything for awhile and you'll be fine. Listen to tunes and just close your eyes, feels very good. I wish you the best luck in this journey and would learn to slowly let go of your worries. Have a nice day.

Joanne
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