New member, long time "sufferer"

Hey everyone

When I was 16 I had my first panic attack, but having no idea what it was I brushed it off. By 19, I had a series of friends die back to back and thus started the anxiety journey.

By age 31, I was a housebound GAD Agoraphobic. My mother had eye surgery, which registered in my brain as she's getting older, she's going to die. So that started my housebound issues. By 32, with the help of my mom, I could go to the store with her at night but never daylight. By then the dr finally put me on medication, cipralex/lexapro at 10mg once a day. Also ativan only when I really couldn't handle it.

On July 29, 2012 I wasn't feeling good and decided to take a nap. My mom said she had a bit of heartburn and she would see me when i got up. She had passed away while I napped. My biggest anxiety fear had happened. Needless to say I am still heartbroken, she was my mom, my partner in crime and my support. Thankfully I pretty much kept it together. I was on an ativan haze for a good month just to keep it together, ptsd took hold for a few weeks.

After losing my mom, I learned to fight again. I live in the same apartment, but I redid it. I meditate at least twice a day and with the help of a grief therapist, I left the house and we did our sessions outside. Now I go for walks because I want to and haven't had an issue leaving the house in little over a year.

My only issue is left side anxiety. Let me tell you, when my left arm goes tingly...immediately I'm anxious. Anything related to the heart and I panic. I know this is because my mom died of a massive heart attack and because she only felt heartburn like symptoms. I convince myself every single time it's the big one.

For the past two hours my left arms been feeling funky, I took 1/4 of an ativan and its lessened my anxiety a bit but alas I'm still a bit shaken.

So there you have it, the hardest lesson I learned was how much outside time and events I missed spending with my friends. But I wouldn't trade those agoraphobic shut in times for thr world, because I spent more time with my mom.

Thank you Larry, that really means a lot. Going in for a physical in the next two weeks to rule everything out.