Freaking out. Medication not working!!!

Now mommie we aren't letting you get away that easy, tomorrow
is Monday, if you feel the same by noon, get on the phone and
make the doctor listen to you, you get an answer to what you are dealing
with, Peace

Larry ***

It's a nightly medication. He says it's a tranquilizer but it doesn't help me sleep or fall asleep at all.

I see him on the 6th. I'm just so scared right now. I had a few minutes of ok and I snacked (on cookies) I know bad idea. Now I'm back with rumbles and cramps again.

I'm so scared I got a bug. I'm pretty sure I been diligent enough on hand washing. But you never know I guess. I been passing a lot but it isn't helping. I keep trying to tell myself if it was a virus I would have been sick already (I think). I don't know. I'm just terrified. I keep taking klonopin because I know my anxiety is making it worse. But now I got the cramps and loopy feeling. I'm terrified and no one to talk to or calm me down.

Thanks SC. Between the klonopin and Zyprexa it doesn't affect me any different then just the klonopin. He put me on it because my anxiety and phobia gives me terrible insomnia. I go to bed around 4 and get up around 8.

I gave up on therapy for now. That counselor didn't plan on seeing me again anyway. Plus since my doc keeps changing my medication I gotta see him every 4 weeks. And it's a struggle at the moment. Kaiser told me we would not be affected by Obama care. But since it went through our premiums went up and our co pays doubled. I can't believe it. So angry about it. I already hate paying what we do for insurance and then we get increased. Even my perscription plan went up.

I try so hard to talk myself out of my phobia. But it doesn't always work 😪

Ha ha SC! I love you

I been doing way too much cross stitching lately to try and help me cope. I clean way too much. My husband surprised me with 2 baby chinchillas so yesterday I spent 4 hours shopping all over town for a cage. I ended up going to sephora and bought some beauty products. And shorts for the boys because it's either 80 degrees one day and 50 the next. Not very good with my hormone issues. I'm either in shorts or bundled up in sweats. Had to clean my yard and side of the house today for pest control. I guess since it's been hot the ticks are back already. So my day was spent on the yard, washing the dogs and picking ticks off. Fun.

Not to mention one of the kids let one of the chinchillas out. They aren't tamed yet so 3 hours hunting it down. I ended up giving up. I even searched outside and took my cats with me to hunt lol. At midnight I turned all lights off. Around 1 I sat on the couch with a flashlight. I finally heard little feet. The little turkey was behind the trash can. I seriously cleaned and went through every corner of the house and garage. But I did not think to check the trash/recycling corner.

I hope they tame down. I want to hold them more and hang out with them. They are 4 month old sisters so no babies happening here. One is a dark grey and the other is light grey. My husband just wanted the dark one but the kid said he wanted them to stay together so he only charged my husband for one and gave him the other. Their names are Smoky and Bandit Lol.

My husband has to watch me too cuz I'll get bored and come home with a new pet. I almost got a puppy twice this past week but I really don't need one. Me and my kids are animal freaks and my husband isn't. So he better watch out since he wants to move us in the mountains and have land. Right now we are in my hometown city which use to be all county when I was a kid. Then it grew so half was city and half was county. But our population has shot over the millions in this past year because people want a "safe place" to live but they bring their gang family with them so now it's just crazy crime here. We have 1 freeway so it's really cramped and hard to get places. Majority of our population is Mexican immigrants but it has been for years. It use to be Okies from Oklahoma which is where my family came from during dust bowl era. And it mostly because we are about 4 and a half hours from Mexico and Kern county is mostly agriculture. So they get jobs fast or become gardeners.

But yeah I could easily be an animal hoarder. I have 3 dogs (English bulldog, boston terrier, and cocker spaniel), 2 cats (one is inside cat and one is half ferrel), a hamster, red eared slider turtle (I've had him 13 years), and now the chinchillas.