JL,Anxiety is a giant pain in the behind and when your mind starts worrying about the worrying it feels like nothing is going to help you. Next thing you know your stuck in what if thinking?
Sometimes I wake up in the morning, wondering how I am going to make it through the day. I feel stuck and stupid for not knowing how not to be afraid. There are days that I struggle with simple things, even just going to the store, because it feels like I am asking for trouble.
I fret and fidget, and do just about anything to avoid thinking about next time. That’s anticipatory anxiety, and it’s common to most every single person with an anxiety disorder.
The funny thing? Anticipatory anxiety can mean you’re trying too hard. Sometimes the best thing to do about anxiety is to stop fighting it. If you start to fret and worry just let it happen and move on through your day.
I am the lady that experiences morning anxiety to the point I have to ask for help from a higher power and turn my worries over to Him. When I get into this situation I will wash my tears away with cold water and start my day over.
Often I have had to wash my tears away 4-5 times on a really tough day. Sadly, it’s all too common for people with anxiety disorders to suffer in silence, left to challenge those thoughts and expectations alone. That’s not easy, so let yourself know it’s OK to be afraid; it’s only natural if maybe you don’t even have words for how disturbing panic actually is.
You know, I’d be willing to bet that you’ve more going for you than you’re able to see when you’re worried about next time. Anxiety induces uncertainty and a sense of lack, even failure, regardless of how competent you really are. And you are competent, JL, you are wise and caring, kind and considerate. You are a wonderful person that suffers from anxiety - write a poem about how you feel.
Thinking of you with warm thoughts,
Kitt