just a thought...why why why????

Was just thinking. I've had off school and work since Thursday..now its Sunday and I'm getting ready for work. Just knowing I have to go to work I'm getting very anxious and not feeling well... even had a few heart Palps..ugh.now im just all shaky and trembly...very uncomfortable. I have panic attacks in school quite often but I do so well in school and I love it.im very nervous about externship this summer... about that and how my anxiety will treat me. Then when I stArt a job which will turn into my career once I graduate in September..im going to school. Working and raising two beautiful little girls. Im only 26 & have a whole lot ahead of me. People say they're so proud of me and how strong I am for Dealing with this horrible unbeArable at tiMes anxiety.. AND doing everything im doing. Im also very proud of myself BUT the problem is... the anxiety... attacks... everything seems to be getting WORSE as I'm doing all of this. I have it all day everyday 24/7, but its not AS BAD when I'm home with my family. I rarely get actual attacks to where I think I'm seriously dying or having a heart attack at HOME.. or when im with my family. Is it worth doing all of this , but making my anxiety worse? Like WAY worse? I wish I could be a stay at home mom. But it just doesn't work that way, me and my boyfriend have to make money for our family...but what to do? Therapy doesn't seem to be helping. My body just won't stop the physical symptoms. They won't stop getting worse and im looking for relief, but my life is too hectic for relief. Right now I'm sitting here shaking feeling like I can't Breathe and I took my xanax only 3 hrs ago. Times like these I really really feel like giving up and it's ashame. ): all over stupid anxiety! Why why why! ),: so sad today........ ugh.

Lacey,

But you really are doing well! Look at all the things that you have accomplished, along with raising your two children, going to school, managing your own anxiety, and all the things that come up in Life in general, and in the Life we know as being a mom. You really are stronger than you seem to give yourself credit for.

I, for one, feel very proud of you!

Many of us with anxiety issues don't like change....so when we go to new schools, new classes, move, get new jobs, meeting new people,...these can all be triggers to heighten our already pretty high anxiety. And that's really okay. Everybody feels nervous in job interviews, everybody gets butterflies meeting new people and in new situations. Thing is, we are just a little more in tune to it.

And just like you got through all those butterflies you had each year in school, with each new class, each new subject, each new practical procedure you had to perform,....you did make it through! Look at where you are now!

These are just a different kind of butterflies, but hun, they're still butterflies and they really will pass.

:)



M.

HI Lacey. It sounds redundant, but you should be very proud of yourself for all you're accomplishing. I've been through the same thing you're going through too. Some days you feel pretty normal, but then you have days on end where the symptoms just won't stop and just want to give up, but please don't! The tendency to feel better when you're home with your family is normal since you're in a safe and familiar environment. Just the thought of getting through the coming week out on your own can be enough to feel overwhelmed and then even angry because of the symptoms and the fact they won't seem to leave you alone. It's part of anxiety. It's ok to feel angry. It will all pass. Hang in there and keep your mind focused on those beautiful little girls and your school work. Things will get better. Please let us know how you're doing.