Son's college woes causing my anxiety to soar

Hello-all-

I also posted on the depression forum, as my college age son is suffering from depression.  He has been in treatment for two years- but it just seems we take one step forward, one step back.  He has tried med after med, but nothing seems to help enough.  He dropped out of college for a year, and since then has been going back the last few semesters with a positive attitude and thoughts that he can handle school.  Unfortunately, the same pattern occurs- midway through the semester he falters and drops class after class.  I know that we cannot continue in this manner, as it is a financial burden as well.

This situation has caused my anxiety level to soar!  I started seeing a psychologist, who is working on getting my mind to believe that I can be ok, even if my son is not.  But as a mother, this is very difficult!  I just want to see him happy and productive!  Makes it difficult for me to sleep and concentrate at work!

Suggestions??

Thanks!!

Hi a.l. It can be incredibly difficult, as a parent,  to watch an adult child go through rough times, but in those challenges, setbacks and disappointments, growth can happen, Think back on your own tough times and what it meant to overcome these. Loving support without rescue, listening without rushing in with a solution, encouraging your adult child to find a workable plan to overcome a difficulty...all of these are ways to nurture your adult child while encouraging him  to find his own solutions and plans for the future and, eventually, to thrive. Excessive worrying causes stress and anxiety, it can affect physical health and it can stop you from participating in rewarding activities – excessive worrying does you little good…and a whole lot of bad. Fortunately, you can choose to stop worrying so much! Though it may take a bit of effort, you can retrain your thinking so that worries don’t cause you such distress. One way to do this is by writing a worry diary. It’s difficult to rationally analyze distressing thoughts as they dance and swirl through your mind, but by writing them down on paper and tackling them with a structured set of questions, you can find the truth - and you can usually stop worrying about what’s not likely to occur. A worry diary is simply a notebook you keep to record – and challenge – your worrisome thoughts. People who use a worry diary to challenge the validity of their fears tend to obsess less about the worst case scenarios and focus more on the reality of the situation. By doing this, they experience a reduction in negative emotions that accompany persistent worries. I keep a diary and write in it 3-4 times a week. A worry diary is simply a notebook you keep to record – and challenge – your worrisome thoughts. People who use a worry diary to challenge the validity of their fears tend to obsess less about the worst case scenarios and focus more on the reality of the situation. By doing this, they experience a reduction in negative emotions that accompany persistent worries. Try adding the worry diary along with your therapy and see if it helps you. It is easy to see you love your son and would like to fix his problems as many parents feel the same way.  By standing by and letting your son know you love him you will allow him to work on finding a way to deal with his depression. I wish you peace, Kitt