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Posted 3/10/2014 10:49 PM (GMT 0)
Been trying my hardest to keep my anxiety under control. But it's not working out well. I see my doctor on the 18th been on yet another round of medications that aren't doing me any good. He just kept increasing my dose which didn't do any better but I ended up gaining 20lbs in 2 months.

I'm stressed out because we went out of town for the weekend and all I can think about is all the germs we could have been exposed too and all the times we couldn't wash our hands.

But to add to my stress we decided to come home a day early and found my dog was attacked by my new puppy. So my dog has been in hospital since late Saturday night. And we don't know what to do with the other dog. It's the second time so we know we can't keep her but we also don't know what to do with her. She's only picked on the one dog who has little dog syndrome. She's only 6 months old.

I'm just a mess all the way around.
Posted 3/10/2014 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
dear bakamom, i am so sorry to hear that your little dog is suffering, as are you. don t forget though, that it is lucky you came home a day early, else things could be a lot worse. God IS looking after your dog, and i am praying for him and for you. i am sure you will find a kind and loving family for the other dog, who you obviously love too, and all will be well again. you may feel like a mess, but you are not, you are a perfectly created being, loved by God and others please let us know how it all turns out, blessings
Posted 3/10/2014 11:27 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks. Luckily I've had bad experiences in the past with pit bulls so I didn't let myself get that attached to her. I care about her and will make sure she goes to a good place. I don't want her at a shelter or a bad home. I honestly don't think she was trying to be mean but I know her bite is only going to get stronger so that worries me. The vet says my dog will be fine but we just got to get the swelling down. She came home last night and this morning I couldn't get her to swallow her pills so I had to take her back for another night of IVs.

As far as everything else it's just consuming my thoughts and really making me feel crazy.
Posted 3/11/2014 12:19 AM (GMT 0)
i don t have any experience with ocd (is that what you are talking about?) but i do understand how distressing it is when the only meds that will help, make us put on weight, and so, feel depressed and anxious because of this. i am yet to find the answer. j have a terror of putting on weight, so it is very hard to find meds that i can tolerate, but which will be therapeutic.. i gave my scales to my husband to take away from me a week ago, and i was going fine. then, this morning, i allowed myself to give in to what seemed like an overwhelming compulsion, and i found my daughter s scales and used them. no matter what the numbers on the scale, i feel like a failure because i gave in. i m praying that God will give me a strategy to use, cos i can t just take my daughter s scales away. try to eat healthy, control portion size and do some exercise, and at least the damage will be minimalised for you. the meds are a tool, you won t be on them forever, blessings to you and yours
Posted 3/11/2014 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
I've been on numerous medications and only once have I used something that caused weight gain and that was the birth control shot. I've always stayed around 125-135 never more than that and I was happy. I got to 114 one time after my mom died and I looked horrible. My bones are really wide and broad so even at 130 I almost look too thin. But being at almost 160 I feel disgusting. I've been trying to diet and it doesn't help which is frustrating because I'm not a big eater at all.

I typically stay away from medications which cause nausea or vomiting because I have a severe phobia of throwing up. And so that causes me to have OCD and severe anxiety.
Posted 3/11/2014 9:44 AM (GMT 0)
Hey there hun
I'm sorry you're feelin bad, a lot of us have been through some funky test drives with meds. Zoloft made me gain weight but helped at a time, Effexor made me feel like I was on crack...
What has your doctor tried for you? Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist instead or is this your primary care doctor?
I know this is hard but just take it one day at a time and we are all here for you.

Ps: :)
This is for your dog issue it may help:
http://atlantahumane.org/education-center/bully/
Posted 3/11/2014 5:02 PM (GMT 0)
Bako,

Addressing the issue of weight,...many times the solution isn't so much what you restrict in your life, but what you add.

Sure, it all boils down to calories in vs. calories out. But what are you doing for the calories out aspect? When we skip meals and eat less, we literally rob our body of the ability to burn calories (as it requires digestion). Yes, it stalls our metabolism and makes it even harder to lose weight. The greater the restriction, the slower and slower your metabolism gets, meaning, now you have to eat even less than before just to maintain 160lbs.

Being that doesn't seem to be your goal, I would sincerely focus more on exercise. Not just aerobic exercise either, but good old fashioned strength training. This is what tones your body, helps strengthen your bones, assists in the reduction of cortisol production (which often contributes to belly fat),....and yes, it absolutely boosts your metabolism.

It's the chronic dieters that have the less-than-stellar results in weight loss.

Hope this helps! Let us know....

:)




M.
Posted 3/12/2014 3:13 AM (GMT 0)
I'm back to freaking out. My husband brought me a vegetarian burrito home and it had bell peppers and onions in it. I tried to pick out as many as I could but now I got reflux and gas and I'm starting to start my belly anxiety all over again. I'm so scared to get sick. I keep thinking it's not the peppers and onions and I got a bug. Ugh I hate this. I hate my mind!!!

Well I brought my dog home today. And one of our friends took the other dog. We told him all about what happened but he said she'll be fine. But told him if it doesn't work out make sure he brings her back to us instead of a bad place. She was gorgeous and expensive so anybody would jump on a dog like that for free.

As far as doctor I do see a psychiatrist. I've tried therapy and it never works out because I just can't find the right person. Plus my insurance just got messed up and all my co pays shot up. So that's another issue. As far as my diet I can't deny that I have a cookie or candy here and there. I eat a few times a day but I started to count all calories with this cool app I got and my calories are between 1600-1800. So I'm really not over doing it. I haven't gone to the gym in awhile since my fybromyalgia pain came back. But I'm busy moving all day taking care of my 3 kids. Plus I homeschool.

Ugh. I can't handle these thoughts. My mind is my biggest enemy. Especially right now.
Posted 3/12/2014 5:02 AM (GMT 0)
BKM.,

Just as our minds can seem like our biggest enemies...so can they be our allies, if we are using our coping skills.

The same negative thoughts that can fuel our anxiety, can actually be turned around into positive, productive ones!

Use the exercises and techniques that you have learned several times a day without fail.

It may not completely take it all away, or be a miracle cure at first...but it will start to make a difference for the better.:)

Have faith, and know that we care for you, and are here for your support.

S.C.
Posted 3/12/2014 6:22 AM (GMT 0)
SC I'm completely losing it right now. I know you've heard my story over and over. I'm in complete fear right now. My stomach still hurts and I'm laying with my heating pad. It's not really helping. I've been passing gas and I wish that was helping but it's not. My stomach keeps rumbling which is making my anxiety even worse. I'm on such a spiral right now. I'm scared to take anything because I'm scared to fall asleep. I think my son has a cold. He fell asleep early and he sleeps next to me so that's not helping. I've considered laying on the floor but I know that would upset my husband if he saw that. I keep thinking I'm gonna be sick any moment or my kids are. My anxiety is making me feel worse I know. But just to add to it my husband leaves in the morning for 2 weeks. He doesn't always make me feel better but it's nice to have someone else here with me. I just want to hide away. I want to cry. I wish I didn't have to be like this everyday. Typically I'll watch tv, cross stitch or read. But I've had to change the channel so many times because people either get sick or talk about getting sick. Like vomiting is really entertainment. I can't read or stitch because I can't calm down enough to focus. I'm like this crazy lady in bed with her hearing pad just completely scared to death.
Posted 3/12/2014 2:01 PM (GMT 0)
Bako,

It really sounds like you've got a bad case of gas. Lord knows what kinds of crazy things gas causes when we have it,...we get rumbles, and tumbles , and waves, and you're right,....passing gas doesn't always bring relief, but it's a start.

Laying down may prolong or exacerbate the symptoms. That's also one reason I suggest going for a walk (even if it's around the block, or if it's for a few minutes), because it'll force your body to get moving. The more dormant you are, your body essentially kicks back and slows down because it doesn't have to do anything (ie: get rid of the gas or indigestion).

Peppers and onions aren't the only culprits.

I also strongly suspect that, like me, you're hyper aware of your anxiety because your husband is departing. I know I've told you this before, but when my Husband travels, I get similar anxiety....even when we stay in touch and I know he's safe, and I'm home and there's nothing to worry about.






M.
Posted 3/12/2014 2:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi BKM,

I am sorry...I was not up to see your last post.:( I do hope that you had a manageable night, and that you are feeling some relief this morning.

I agree that your anxiety is getting kicked up because your husband is going out of town. This can be a challenge, as it puts more responsibility on you of course.

However, you could also make it an opportunity for some fun. When my husband has to travel, my youngest daughter and I make it a series of fun activities that we both enjoy. I don't cook at all...we go to all of our favorite places to eat...and do things that we normally wouldn't do...even on week nights.

You are stronger than you know...and I know that you can get through this. Post everyday if you need to...we are here!

S.C.
Posted 3/12/2014 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks. It's ok. I eventually took my pills and got sleepy then my son woke up like he had a nap. I could hardly wake up today. Then I got my kids up they messed around for a bit and my son sat next to me and had horrid gas. Then he said he was hungry then a minute later he said he was full. He hasn't ate yet. He said he's probably still full from yesterday. It's making me nervous all over again eventhough I sometimes say the same thing. I wish I could have just one good day. Everyday it's something. Something always triggers my phobia which causes my anxiety.
Posted 3/12/2014 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
I know...it is a process, and it takes time. Sometimes it seems that we make some headway...then we tumble back into the old fears and worries.

I do see that you are making progress though. I see more acceptance and understanding of your phobia through how you post.

I see that though you still struggle with the fear, it is having less of a hold on you in a general sense.

Yes, this may be a time of high stress, at this moment...but I know that it will pass, and you will have gained yet more ground.

Keep posting while your husband is away. We are here.:)

S.C.
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