Hello everyone, I've been very busy lately..and on top of finding out I am 5 weeks pregnant with my little bean #3 I'm soo much more tired...very exhausted!!! Tomorrow will be a week since I've taken my last Xanax, and about
2 weeks since finding out I'm pregnant. It sure has been a struggle and I didn't think I could ever not take the Xanax again, but I have proved myself wrong. The day before the day since I haven't taken it, I had a HORRIBLE anxiety attack and school and HAD to take it. It was to the point that I wasn't even breathing right, then I could barely breathe. My heart was racing and I was shaking so badly that I couldn't even deal. My Doctors know all of the meds I'm taking, whether it be everyday or on occasion. I go back March 27to th my ob/gyn for a sonogram to see exactly how far along I am, and my PCP April 25th for my 3 month check up, So I will talk to them more then about
the meds at those times. As of right now, I am taking the Xanax only in times of an emergency. Don't get me wrong I have been really tense which has been causing terrible daily tension headaches, and very shaky and heart racing off and on, but unless it is to the point where I am totally in a state of horrific panic and cannot concentrate on anything else, I'm not going to take it. It really is a struggle. I'm trying to cope just by staying busy and away from caffeine, but sometimes the caffeine is the only thing that keeps me awake, but only a little bit, like a small cup or two of iced coffee, since I am totally exhausted now being pregnant! I have to go to school all week long and get my kids to school and daycare, pick them up, take them home, and then I still work in the evenings so it is rough, and I am proud of not having to "rely or die" on the Xanax for the past week. I thought the anxiety would get better, I mean I guess it has a little, but I still feel it everyday. Whether I drink a little bit of caffeine or not. The shakiness the heart racing, palpitations(which have decreased a TON since my string of tests at the cardiologists...), it seems like it'll never go away so I may be struggling to cope my whole life. Sometimes I feel like my whole body is going to just start going into a seizure or I may black or pass out because it's so bad but that's anxiety for ya!! 10 years and it's still going strong for me!! )': Hopefully it'll get better one day soon, but I'm so emotional right now, that I don't think it'll be anytime soon! So I will continue on and try the best I can to keep working at it and just have that thought that "it's only anxiety making me feel this way and you are completely healthy and completely fine"..! If I could totally stay away from caffeine everyday and stay home and sleep as I wished then I may see some improvement, but not sure because I can't do that at this moment in time..! I know there will be worse days than others so I'm not expecting to be" anxiety and med free forever" now, but I do hope that it is a START for me! I really do!
Hope everyone had a great weekend and happy St. Pattie's day!!
(don't know about everywhere else but here in Pittsburgh St Patties day is a BIG deal!) (-;
Lacey