Update from earlier: not doing well at all

Guys I don't know what's going on with me today

My body feels like it's "running on fumes" and ready to give up any second. I am past the point of wondering if something bad is going to happen to waiting for when it's going to happen. I just don't know what is happening is my heart failing am I just going to keel over and stop breathing? I am 99% certain I won't be here tomorrow so much so that I have written my wife a goodbye note

Hey ScrumKing,

I've felt so many nights that I wouldn't wake up the next morning, and I'm sure you've had a lot of them as well. Just remember, you are still here. Something helpful for me is reminding myself of what I've learned form the past. I like to think of a caveman somewhere, sitting in a cave at night. Even with no understanding of science or planets or anything, that caveman knows the sun will come up the next morning, because it has every other morning. When something happens a thousand times over, you start to trust that it still will.

You survived yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that and so on. You've probably even felt like your heart or your brain or something else was going to fail, and it didn't. Our anxiety filled brains always try to think that today is going to be different, but that is just worry. You're going to survive today, and tomorrow too.

-Morag