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Can't do this anymore

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 4/2/2014 9:26 AM (GMT 0)
I feel like I can't go on anymore. Everyday my depression gets worse. My anxiety gets worse. Constant battle with my husband over everything. Constant battle over the kids. Constant battle over treatment of the kids. I always lose or I'm at fault for everything. I feel worthless, useless I don't feel I have a purpose here anymore since everything I do or say is wrong wrong wrong. I feel cornered. I feel trapped. I've had numerous thoughts of self harm. Usually I have my kids in consideration but I'm at such a bad point in my life that's not even snapping me out of it. I'm worn out. I feel I've given all I've had. It wasn't good enough. Now I feel like a shell. Something that resembles a human but there's nothing here.
Posted 4/2/2014 10:12 AM (GMT 0)
dear bakomon, don t give up, don t give in. you are precious to so many people, and precious to God. obviously, at the moment, things seem unbearable. please remember, that no one has the righ to hurt you, not even you yourself. you need to ring a trusted friend now, and your doctor, as soon as possible. things WILL get better. husbands find it so hard to show their appreciation sometimes, and they can hurt us with their words and their attitudes. try to ignore it and not add fuel to the fire, until you are feeling better again, and then you can discuss what needs to be discussed with him. keep loving your family, as you obviously do, but get to the doctor tomorrow. ring that friend, or your mum, or whoever you can, and please get back here tomorrow to let us know how you are going. oh, and of course, keep practising those coping skills that have worked for you before. i m praying for you, blessings to you and yours
Posted 4/2/2014 4:44 PM (GMT 0)
BKM.,

Please call your doctor right away. You should be seen due to the level of despair that you are currently feeling.

If you have any more thoughts of self-harm, you must call someone right away.

A friend or family member, as well as one of these Resources below.

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

If you believe you may be suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) immediately, or consult their website at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They are available 24/7 for anyone in suicidal crisis in the United States.



I hope that you can get in to be seen. A tweak in meds, and/or therapy to help you to start to work through these feelings is needed.

We CARE about you...please advocate for yourself and get the help that you need!

S.C.

Posted 4/2/2014 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
BKM,

We would like to hear from you - if you cannot get to a clinic always remember the ERs are open 24/7. 

I would be glad to email with you if you want to include your email in your profile and mark it public. Otherwise just click under my name on the left where you see an envelope.  This should open my email for you or it is in my profile.

When your feeling despondent it feels like things will never get better but trust me - things do get better. 

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

 

Posted 4/2/2014 10:21 PM (GMT 0)
dear bakomon, please let us know how you are, now! we really care and you are family, blessings
Posted 4/2/2014 10:54 PM (GMT 0)
Still checking in on Bako.....

Please check in with us when you can. You've got the crew on stand-by here.... Hoping to hear from you soon!




M.
Posted 4/2/2014 11:09 PM (GMT 0)
Please respond if only to say that someone is with you and you're ok. You're part of the family here. We care. We understand. We are always here.
Posted 4/3/2014 5:07 AM (GMT 0)
Hold on I know it is hard and Ive been where you are ,but you don't know this you're making it, and you will make it and you're strong and have been chosen because of your strength.
Posted 4/3/2014 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
Mommie, common girl you know this one thing above all others
this bunch all Love You, You come back home here and let us
hold you, lots of us have been right where you are now, you don't have to explain anything to us, just come and get a big
group Hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Peace!

Larry ***
Posted 4/3/2014 7:08 PM (GMT 0)
Been trying to cope the best I can. Sorry I didn't get back sooner. It's been really hard lately. And yesterday we decided to separate/divorce. We can't go on anymore. Were both unhappy. But I'm really stressed out cuz he wants me to move. I got like $50 in the bank at the moment. He says were broke. I can't afford a storage at the moment for all my stuff. I can't really look for work yet until I get everything out. I don't know what I'm gonna do or where to go. Everything is just a big mess right now. I can't even afford boxes to pack anything away. I'm at a loss for words. I had self harm thoughts again last night because I just don't know what to do. I attempted but thought about my kids. The only reason I'm here is for them. If I didn't have them. Well if I didn't have them I wouldn't be in this situation right now I suppose. I'm use to being alone so that isn't a problem for me. Just trying to get things sorted and trying to be a single mom with 3 kids is gonna be hard at first.

Thank you for all the love.
Posted 4/3/2014 8:05 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry Bakomom to hear of your issues. Separation/divorce is not the easiest thing to deal with, I have been through it myself. I'm glad that even though you had issues of SH that you thought of your kids and stopped. We are all here for you. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

A x
Posted 4/3/2014 10:38 PM (GMT 0)
Bako,

Is there a walk-in clinic or Women's Shelter near you? I can appreciate the great amount of stress you're going through, and I'd like to see you get some help and support, in person as well as your HW family here.

Do you have anyone to talk to personally about what you're feeling and what you're experiencing?

We know you're overwhelmed.... Hopefully seeing how much an online community that has never even met you, has rallied around and banded together to reach out and show you that there are people who care about you, and for you,....well, hopefully that's an encouragement to you!

Please keep checking in with us, okay? We really do care!






M.
Posted 4/3/2014 10:52 PM (GMT 0)
Ok. I know of shelters but I don't want to expose my kids to that. He said he'll leave for now. One problem is that I do reach out and complain. I think he snoops around everything I do to see what I say to throw at me. I have nothing to hide so I don't care. I do have an ex which is a friend on Facebook. I have no interest in him. But he's a guy and thinks with the wrong head and speaks through it so I do delete those messages because I don't want my husband to think I'm involved. But anyway.

Thank you for the support and putting up with me :-)
Posted 4/3/2014 11:47 PM (GMT 0)
dear bakomon, im so glad to hear from you again. i ve been so worried, and have been praying for you all this time. God has a plan for your life, and He won t let anyone stop it playing out, it s the waiting and wondering that is the hard part. please try to reach out to someone who has the best interests of you and your children at heart, God WILL provide someone. just a thought, can you just talk to the people at the shelters and they can gie you some advice, personal and legal, on what is the best and safest thing to do next? praying now for you, blessings to you and yours
Posted 4/3/2014 11:57 PM (GMT 0)
Mommie don't feel that your being put up with, its not about you
girl, it's about US, you are one of US! This is probably not legal
but I am going to ask anyway, is the checking account yours or
shared? I am like everyone else here but I bet I can find some
bucks to send a Sister in trouble!
If I am over the line here use my email! Peace

Larry ***
Posted 4/4/2014 4:03 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah, that is not something that we can do/discuss on the forums here L.

...but we can offer our support, listening ears and loving hearts.

BKM, know that we are thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers.

S.C.
Posted 4/4/2014 7:00 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks again. LOL Larry love you and bless you.

And to that question no it's not shared. After 10 and a half years he never trusted me so we always had separate bank accounts. Which added to my issues also because I never knew what the finances were. I'd have to take his word for it. He'd transfer what he thought I needed.

So happy to have you all. Especially during my hard times. I got some things packed and sorted today. Making a trash and donation pile. Fun stuff. Kept me busy.
Posted 4/4/2014 5:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hi BKM.,

I know that there really isn't much that I can say to help you to feel better...as this is just a really difficult time for you now.

...but I did want to check in and send my encouragement for today. Things will not always be this hard...keep faith and hope that in the future, better days are coming.

Know that we care and are thinking of you.

S.C.
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