So torn at the moment

Hi SK.,

(I hope that you are feeling better, and getting over your illness.)

Maybe asking yourself this might help...

What was my fear level about cardio issues before I started to visit my uncle in the hospital?

What is it now?

If the answer is that you have a markedly increased level, then perhaps limiting your time spent visiting the hospital is a prudent move, for your current state of mind.

Only you can decide what the trade off as far as the pros and cons of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is...yes, watching our triggers is important, but so is supporting family.

I hope that you can come to a point of deciding to read some of the recommended books that we have here on CBT/health anxiety

(in our Resources). I really believe that they could help.

Wishing you and your family the best!

S.C.

As always, I think Kitt's made some wonderful suggestions! There are many different ways of staying in touch without over-stimulating your anxiety, and those ideas Kitt listed are great.

Just letting someone know they're in your thoughts, can lift spirits. I understand the predicament you're in if hospitals make you feel uneasy. My Husband is the same way. It's like dragging nails across a chalkboard when he has to go into one. His discomfort can be contagious.

What we've done in the past when I was in the hospital and rehab, (which has been quite a lot over the past 2-3 years), he'll visit more frequently, but for shorter periods of time. That's what he's worked out as a good and acceptable system. I know he's thinking of me, he's making a do-able compromise.

My MIL and SIL on the other-hand, are less apt to visit, but when they do, they stay for a few hours. They'll make a picnic meal and bring games or cards, even a movie on a tablet....that's what they've worked out as a good system.

Very different. Both effective.

My MIL is house-bound and has a long-time friend who will phone her every night and check on her to make sure she picks up the phone and just to check in and see that everything's okay and catch up.

I've also had relatives who only came to see me once or twice....

Point is,...everyone's got their own rhythm and their own comfort level. Feel free to try different ways to stay connected, as Kitt pointed out,...ways that let him know he's being thought about, while still keeping you on an even keel.

Finding that particular balance, whatever it may be, may be just the thing...and perhaps you're still on the road to discovering how to get there!






M.