fear of an illness, and anxiety about anxiety

One of the things that makes me anxious is a worry about getting prostate cancer. I have a family history of prostate cancer (father died of it) and also a psa level that makes me in the "high risk" category. I have done a lot of reading about prostate cancer -- probably too much. (A doctor friend of mine tells me I know more than 98% of doctors about this disease).

People say "don't waste your energy being anxious about this -- just get tested regularly and if you ever get it, go to a good doctor and get treatment."

That makes sense, of course. But it is -- as some of you will probably appreciate -- much easier said than done, especially for someone who is prone to anxiety. (This is not the only thing I get anxious about).

When I did CBT, the therapist had me do some statistical analysis about prostate cancer. I think the point was to show me that (1) its not anywhere like a "sure thing" that I will get this, and (2) even if I do, it may not be for many years, and even then most people who get it are cured. So I should not walk around like I have the Sword of Damocles hanging over my head.

All that makes sense, intellectually. CBT can be a powerful force. But, then again, anxiety is a powerful force. And I still worry about this. I have not been "cured" by CBT.

One thing in particular I worry about is how I will deal (from an anxiety perspective) with this illness, if I do get it. If I have so much anxiety over even the possibility, what will I be like if/when it becomes a reality?? Will I be unable to sleep, have difficulty functioning etc. This is sort of "anxiety about anxiety."

Therapist said studies show that people with anxiety do not respond any less well to an "actual problem" when it arises than people without anxiety. They may "waste" a lot of emotional energy worrying, but when the feces hits the fan, so to speak, they don't respond worse than "normal" people. Maybe he was just trying to make me feel better?

Why am I telling you all this? I don't know. I just thought maybe someone could relate, or would have some interesting observations.

Have a nice evening.

Thanks S Cat. CBT seems to work best when the patient is, in fact, grossly overestimating risk/consequences. I know that is a common feature of anxiety. For example, take the guy who is afraid of driving over a bridge. He is acting like there's an 80% chance he will drown if he does so. But, in fact, a million people a year drive over that bridge and the total number of injuries or deaths is zero. And even if he is super-unlucky, and does have a problem on the bridge, there's a 95% chance that problem will be a flat tire, and AAA can take care of it. So if you can teach him to evaluate the risk dispassionately, the fear will melt. I have some trouble translating that into a scenario where the risk is not so low, and the magnitude of harm is greater. A work in progress...