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Posted 5/15/2014 10:06 PM (GMT 0)
I was just told that I need a biopsy for a mass in my breast, and a "compression" test.

To say I am having a panic attack is an understatement. I just took some xanax and hope that kicks in soon.

The stats all sound reassuring, but to get this far to breast biopsy is a tiny percentage, and so I am not reassured any more but terrified.

I know no one can "do" anything (here), but health anxiety is one of my big fears.

Thank you for letting me share.
Posted 5/16/2014 1:14 AM (GMT 0)
Try and stay positive.  The stats are on your side.  I, too, suffer from extreme health anxiety and I always jump to the worst positive scenario.  But, as you know, most things we worry about don't happen.  And worrying does nothing to change the outcome.  The xanax will help you calm down and get some rest.  Check in on this site often.  There are people here who understand.  Take care.

 

Posted 5/16/2014 3:21 AM (GMT 0)
I have health anxiety also. I am 40 and had to have my mammo. I had to have one when I was27 because of calcium deposits. Needless to say I was freaked out until I got my results. Try and focus on anything but your biopsy. I know it's easier said than done, but worry will just add to your anxiety. Hoping for good results for you.
Posted 5/16/2014 3:55 AM (GMT 0)
Hi M.A.L.,

I am sorry as I know this was not the news that you wanted to hear.

However, it does not mean anything catastrophic either, so try your best not to worry prematurely.

Chances are you will be fine...and all the worry energy that you have been put through will be for naught.

We have some good mindfullness information on the main HW page. It is helpful to learn to stay in the moment.

I will keep your upcoming tests in my prayers. Do you have an appointment date set yet?

Keep posting with us, and we will do our best to help keep you grounded and calm.

Hugs,

S.C.
Posted 5/16/2014 3:58 AM (GMT 0)
...oh and here are some mindfullness meditation vids from our Resources which may be helpful.


Mindfulness Meditation

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/06/03/new-to-mindfulness-how-to-get-started/#.Urr-gZ3naAI

Three Minute Mindfulness Meditation Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDflnqo0TQs

 
S.C.

Posted 5/16/2014 12:20 PM (GMT 0)
I've had fibrocystic breasts since I was 14 and I am now 51. Throughout the years, I can't count how many times I've had to have repeat tests....felt a bit like a lab rat!

But calcifications, cysts, fatty masses, ducts,....a lot of things can just make it pretty darn hard for the docs, or the techs, to get a clear image.

Hang tight,....it's one of the lovely joys we women go through!







M.
Posted 5/16/2014 1:21 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all SO much for your support.
Knowing the stats that only like

10% get called back after a mammo test,

95% are fine after they get called back for secondary tests,

then 80% of biopsies are benign,

isn't helping me much since I have slipped through on those whispers of a chance on the bad side each time so far...

I always think the worst, it's a life long habit and I come from a pretty challenging childhood and life, so it just feels so darn typical.

I am feeling sorry for myself.

I am afraid the new insurance I got isn't enough and it will also wipe me out financially with surgeries & chemo if I need to go there and of course I am assuming I will.

I wonder if you can increase coverage (I am not a direct part of the Affordable Care Act but signed up during this time as I am self employed). Since they did away with that pre-existing condition thing... Ugh

I just feel horrible. I have no family, I cared for each one of them until they passed away. I hate hospitals. A couple pet friends to look after and no one to help me.

I feel so low.....

Compression test this wednesday for one side, biopsy june 2nd for the other side. :(

Post Edited (My Anxiety Life) : 5/16/2014 7:24:30 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/16/2014 2:24 PM (GMT 0)
M.A.L.

Try not to get ahead of the situation here. I know it is hard, and I would struggle with the same tendencies...that is just how our anxious brains work...

...however coming up with catastrphic senarios in our heads only adds to the fear.

You don't know anything definitive yet concerning any bad news. All you know is that they need a clearer picture for your best results....which could be due to the many factors that Merrida mentioned above...all benign!

Use my go-to mantra when I am worrying about something that is out of my control at the moment...it keeps me from "future tripping."

"It is not time to worry about that now."

Simple, but it helps to put things in perspective, and keeps my anxiety from cycling into panic. 

We will help to keep you calm until your upcoming appointments.

S.C.
Posted 5/16/2014 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, thank you Scaredy Cat. Blessings for taking the time to reassure me. I do thank you.

Having been through all I have been through in my life, one thing I know:

We do get through every crisis, we are stronger than we realize.

I suppose I simply grow weary of having to deal with a lifetime of extreme stress. I should be a pro by now. Ha!

But, no one said life was fair. . .

Trying to remember the mindfulness breathing...
Posted 5/16/2014 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
S.C. brings up some good points, and for the record, I often, (still), have to remind myself to actively do this as well: But do not get ahead of yourself.

Be present, be in the moment, be mindful of the 'now' and you will then take the power away from worrying about the "what if's" that no one knows.

The breathing exercises are very helpful. My favourite ones are Square Breathing and Divided Breath.







M.
Posted 5/16/2014 11:28 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Merrida...

Still feel like I am walking a plank into shark infested waters and no way to turn around...

I'll try the breathing again, but gee, this panic sure is coiled tight in my belly.
Posted 5/16/2014 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
I too, think the worst before I have even gotten the tests. They already had many good points. Again having calcium deposits in my breasts also, it always freaks me out. I was scared to death when they said to have the first mammogram, when I was only 27..My aunt has been cancer free now for like 8 years, and she had breast cancer. So of course I always think yep, it will be hereditary...Good luck to you..sending positive thoughts to you..
Posted 5/17/2014 6:49 PM (GMT 0)
Glad things have worked out for you Paddicake77...



I'm still in such limbo, sure I have been given a death sentence... Ugh ..

Just another bad day in limbo land... :(
Posted 5/17/2014 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
MAL.,

Sending postive thoughts and prayers you way.

Put those worries away and do your best to comparmentalize until you get your tests done.

If projecting into to future is inevitable...only plan how you are going to celebrate getting good news back regarding your results.;)

S.C.
Posted 5/17/2014 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, and I hope things work out for you too. Health anxiety sucks, and everything we go through always makes our anxiety even worse. Wishing you the best.
Posted 5/17/2014 11:31 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much Scaredy Cat..

I remember what you used to say, something about: Why do we fear the worst instead of thinking we'll win the lottery or something like that.

I remembered that, and I keep thinking about it. (Wish I could remember exactly what you said but I am in a panic mode right now) but it sure helped.

And thanks Paddicake77
Posted 5/18/2014 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
It is an analogy that goes like this.

When we are anxious, we tend to only worry about negative/scary things that could happen, and we internalize them...feeding the anxiety.

For example, if you were to hear about a friend of a friend (example) getting sick with a terrible disease...your anxious mind might start to worry/panic about this happening to you...simply by the suggestion alone.

However, if you heard about another friend of a friend winning the lottery, you wouldn't quit your job and start looking at real estate in Aspen, right? You would not jump up and shout "Oh boy, I must be the next big winner."

.....because that would be silly. Well, it is just as unrealistic to think that the bad stuff is always going to come our way.:)

Hang in there...sending encouraging and postive thoughts!!

S.C.
Posted 5/19/2014 2:21 AM (GMT 0)
YES! That's it!!

Thank you, I remembered that from months ago and it really helped. :)
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