How To Deal?

How to deal with a none understanding relative(mother) who just don't understand your mental illness, I just feel like Iam alone and her selfish words just make the situation all the more worse. Last night being one of a few times when she just made the situation more bad, asked her to drop me off at the er because I was having difficulties breathing and felt as if someone was standing on my chest& heart burn sensations in the middle of my chest& I had been dealing with bad migrane for the last few days. Feeling unbalanced and unsteady as if I would fall at any time, and room would be spinning out of control and that don't help anxiety thoughts and I had no peace of mind. After I had ask her to take me she replied what is it now? What's wrong now and starts to fuss loudly saying she will never have no peace, and it is always something and I will cause her to go to a early grave& I need to grow up. And how she doesn't want God to take her to make me grow up, because he sometimes takes the closest people to us to make some grow up I asked her to please stop because I didn't need to hear that at the time my mother says whatever comes to mind and has for years. And then states after the fact she isn't trying to be mean, if only she knew the damage of years of hurtful words& coldness she tends to put off at times.
I didn't ask to be like this but as I look back over my life being put in unhealthy situations at a young age, dealing with lost too soon and being abused emotionally and physically by a relative and told my mom at a young age and she didn't believeme. To being bullied at school and physical abuse by a student at school in the 7th grade, I just feel as though I've had to cover up years of pain students where so mean to me& it hurt. Still hurts today because it has cost me alot mental &emotional wise I just want to get better, test results came back fine all except for yet again being anemic I've struggled with this for years doctor said it wasn't too bad to need another transfusion but I will have to start back on iron medicine again so from chest up they say Iam healthy, except for the blood problem and in june I go to have more test well woman test& hope those test come back fine and then I will have full peace of mind. And will seek counsel for however long it takes to start to truly heal my mind, no more covering up are pushing under the rug no more pure raw healing. Had to get this off my chest and ask of those who pray to keep praying for me and my recovery, finally feel Iam headed in right direction towards true peace& joy and truly being happy for real.

I wish that I could be as gentle as Larry. I sincerely do.

I have a toxic 'relationship' with my birth Mother who,--among other things,--was much the same way. Always critical, finding fault, I always seemed to have some problem that needed addressing that was 'in my head,'.....

I know that forgiveness and taking the high road is the right thing to do. And this may be one of my rare, less supportive messages,....but that's only because I am in sort of similar shoes and still, at 51, not recovered from the pain she inflicted.

We all heal at different rates, and being able to turn the other cheek takes some of us longer to learn than others.

I wish you well in this and I wish you peace.






M.