Need Advice

Hi!

I'm new to this forum, I'm active on the Ulcerative Colitis forum, yes I have that awful disease!

So in which brings me here. I've dealt with anxiety and panic disorder since I was a child. Was so bad for a few months as a child that in the lunch room in Kindergarden I would vomit I was so nervous. Note: I dont have social anxiety.

My anxiety has been on and off for years. I must note that in times when I had no anxiety/panic I traveled London and I even lived alone for seven years in Los Angeles. Though I remember one panic attack that lead me to a hospital visit in the middle of the night. But that all dissipated over time, like my Kindergarden panic. (poor kid)

This brings me to present day. I have Ulcerative Colitis a chronic inflammatory bowel disease. I will be on meds for the rest of my life. I will have times of remission and times of awful flares. Some of these flares in the last six months have put me in the hospital, where it was so bad I hardly made it in time. I was critically hypokalemic where my lungs and muscle shut down.

This is where I'm stuck. Since those awful episodes I can't seem to shake them. I can hardly go out of the house, if I do, my chest gets so heavy, feels as if I'm going to faint and my breathing starts to hurt. I've been to the Doc, which I have a clean bill of health, heart and all! (well except for my GI tract) I would love some advice on chronic panic and severe symptoms. I really think that at times I'm going to stop breathing and die. The effects are so real, physically I'm in pain. I'm on zoloft and klonopin but eventually want to be med free. and Frankly those don't seem to help. My state of panic is every second of the day, I've developed aforaphobia now. Never have I had this in my life! When I got diagnosed with this illness, my mental health was shot. I want my life back ! I want to be able to go to the store, gym without feeling like I need to run to the ER every time.

Any advice is welcome. Much love to all my anxiety brothers and sisters!