Good Morning Anxiety,
So nice to wake up with you every morning. It's a regular thing now, isn't it? What a crazy affair!
Yes you flip flopped when the day before your old HS friend told you about
her cancer fight and near death. Do you remember much else she talked about
, or just that?
Yes you did back flips when another friend told you yesterday how he almost died, and how when they put a breathing tube down his throat, and he didn't know, but they paralyze you when they do this, so he then had to do a 5 hour ambulance ride and he couldn't
open his eyes or speak, but his mind was aware, and he said he was afraid they were taking him to the morgue not knowing he was alive, and it was the WORST experience he'd ever had, and this is the very thing that terrifies you. Yep, sure did feel that familiar squeamishness.
Yes, you clutched at my belly when you heard another friend has about
a month to live.
Yes, it was really really hard to have another one of your pet friends put down last week.
Yes it's still hard to think your close family is now dead too.
Or how you poke at my belly when you think of how yet another friend died not a month ago at 48 (!) of a heart attack. Just like that, no warning.
Feels like scary things like cancer and sickness and death are everywhere, all around you, surrounding you like a rabbit surrounded by hungry wolves and there is nowhere to run and you can't scream.
I guess since you are not going anywhere any time soon, we should start to be friends, ok?
I know I am going to die one day. We all do.
But if you keep living in fear, you won't be living much, will you?
I keep saying this, and I sure hope one day soon we can both realize this.
Signed, me.
Post Edited (My Anxiety Life) : 6/16/2014 4:41:39 AM (GMT-6)