My reoccurring panic/anxiety

Okay here it goes I've had issues in the past with women, women I've loved bc of my anxiety/insecurities. I'm 32 years old and have been in 4 long term serious relationships. I can safely say that I've ruined three of them from the way I've acted. The woman I'm with now I have a deeper connection and love more than any of the others I was with. To tell you the truth I feel like she loves me more than any of the others have ever loved me. She is so understanding so calm and such a wonderful wonderful wonderful person. we been dating for six months now and she's actually been the first one I've trusted wholeheartedly and completely and haven't been jealous over or possessive over so in that regard I guess I've grown a little bit. We pretty much spend every minute possible together which I love, we always talked about how strange it was that we felt the exact same way about each other since the beginning. There wasn't one person who more or less wanted to spend more time with the other it was always a mutual feeling. Anyway I've I got a huge heart I'm not afraid of commitment but I'm also very very insecure. I read into words way too much I tried to predict meanings of certain things that she says to me that really don't make sense at all other than to my own insecurities. She's away right now for two& half weeks in Europe and I don't think I've ever felt so sick in my life about somebody being gone. for me every time I speak with her either through Skype or text it's like I have an attitude and I now when she does call I get terrible anxiety because I know that I'm going to start being insecure and start having an attitude. I truly want her to enjoy herself and experience amazing things on this trip. I just need to find a way to deal with her being gone and basically not be an ****** to her because I'm miserable, the last thing I want to do in the world is make her upset, two reasons first being the obvious ,that I love her so ****ing much that I don't ever ever want to hurt her and the second being is I don't want to push her away and lose her. but it's almost like I can't control myself because of my anxiety and I know that sounds like an excuse to some people. I wish I would just keep things very simple and straight to the point tell her I love her tell her I hope she's having a good time but no it's like I have to pick at stupid things like oh why didn't you call me at this time or you know you haven't called me for two days you've just been texting and is everything okay. All of that starts to make me question maybe she's starting to feel different about me and she doesn't love me as much or something. As in writing this I kind of realize how ****ing ridiculous it is but in the moment but I'm feeling this way nothing else matters to me. I am so self absorbed and thinking only of myself during the situation I love her and I would do anything for her. I just can't shake this feeling of being completely and utterly terrified that I'm going to lose her but the thing is I know in my heart that if I keep doing this stuff I'm doing I am going to lose her. Basically what I'm asking is how can I control myself how can I deal with this? Those of you who have had anxiety know exactly what I'm talking about and who had this exact same situation in their relationship I don't want to be like this anymore I don't want to lose the woman I love most in this world and yet I can't seem to control myself when I know exactly what I'm doing... that's the definition of ****ing insanity right there and it drives me absolutely bat crap crazy that I can't take a step back and say she loves you she's just away on a trip that she had planned before she started dating you let her have her fun wait till she comes home and then shower her with love when she does get home. Please somebody out there if you have a story to share or advice for me I would appreciate it, unfortunately a lot of the advice I get is what I tell myself but again those who have had anxiety/deep insecurity no it's a lot harder to take the advice and apply it instead of just knowing about it. I don't want to lose her and I don't want to keep telling her I'm sorry because that's just going to become meaningless after a while you see I know all this I absolutely am more than aware of everything I'm doing and still can't control myself. Appreciate any thoughts

Scaredy Cat, thank you for the suggestion. I think I will do exactly that. It's nice to know that there are people who understand and can offer kind words of wisdom. I truly appreciate it...
Reading your quotes at the bottom of your post also is something I intend on writing down somewhere where I can see it everyday in my home. Thanks again