Nervous about taking new meds

Hi, this is my first time posting on the anxiety forum. I get really nervous about taking new meds or having a new issue. I always wonder how the med will affect me, I hate taking new meds I just get so nervous about it. Sometimes I even lie and say I'm feeling just fine even when I'm not because I don't like taking new meds. I've suffered from major depression, anxiety and ptsd since a early age so I've been on and off meds for over half of my life. But now that medical issues are added into the mix my anxiety level is just at an all time high.

I tend to be nervous around doctors and don't really ask all the questions that I want to ask or say I understand even when I don't and I know this isn't a good thing.

The nurse called today to let me know my 2nd set of blood test came back and that my cortisol level was extremely low and that they called in a prescription for me to treat it and that they'll probably have to give me some cortisol before surgery. After my first blood test to check my different levels the doctor told me that my cortisol seemed low but that they needed to test it again early in the day after giving me a shot of cortisol and he told me it was some kind of hormone but I really didn't ask any questions I was nervous about that being another issue on top of what I was already there for. So the nurse asked me if the doctor explained to me about my cortisol being low and I said yes and she asked me if I had any questions and I said no, even though I did. I tried to read up on it but still don't really get it and I wonder if it affects my depression and anxiety or how your cortisol level is needed during surgery.

I'm just extremely nervous and anxious about it, the not knowing or understanding about it and I feel even more anxiety about being afraid to ask questions. I guess I've been dealing with mental health issues for so long I kind of understand most of that or at least what I can also learn on my own but physical medical problems are a whole new issue for me and I'm really nervous about it. I thought about calling the nurse back but almost felt like I was about to have a panic attack at the thought of calling back and seeming stupid because I don't understand. Then I was thinking maybe I can ask at my pre-op appointment but I'm almost afraid to even think about going to that. I'm trying to take things one day at a time and one week at a time because if I don't I get way too overwhelmed and anxious and just worry myself silly.

Doctors and hospitals just make me nervous I try to avoid them as much as possible and tend not to take care of myself like I should I don't want them to find something wrong with me and taking new meds is scarey because some of them have bad side affects or you hear about how certain meds caused other medical problems so I just always have a fear of taking new meds. I didn't start it today when I picked it up, I know I need to take it I'm just anxious especially since I really don't understand what cortisol is besides a hormone or why we need it. I'm just nervous and I just wanted to talk about it.

Hi Scaredy Cat,

Thanks so much for your reply and for giving me a link to the resources I'm going to read over some of them.

Hi Merrida,

Thanks for your reply. I haven't tried the search feature on the forum yet. I have read about people being worried a lot about having medical problems but I hadn't read across anyone being afraid to take new meds because of being worried about the side affects and I try to avoid the hospital and doctor as much as possible I have to be in excruciating pain to go the the medical doctor and I have a high tolerance for pain so I hate to go and I know all that sounds crazy that's why I was posting I guess I feel like I'm the only one and feel kind of bad for feeling this way so I posted to see what others may think. I've been reading on here for a long time it I was just afraid to post.

Thank you wearyRAsufferer.

Hi Merrida,

Thank you for being understanding. I think it's easier for me to be understanding of someone else feelings but when it comes to my feelings I tend to be really hard on myself and feel like I'm the only one having such overwhelming emotions when I shouldn't be. I've read on this forum for months before I posted and I'm sure there are many others like me who are a little afraid to post. Afraid of what others may think or say or if anyone will say anything at all. You're right I did step out of my comfort zone a little by posting now if I can only stop being so anxious about taking new meds or going to the hospital this is not a good time for me to have this much anxiety and not want to go to the hospital or doctor.