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anxiety at an all time high need advice

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Posted 7/14/2014 3:05 AM (GMT 0)
I am really struggling with make this decision to leave my current job

I know it's in my best interest for my health and well being but I'm so scared

I'm having self doubts

I don't think I'll make anywhere near the same money

People depend on me for the family health benefits this job affords (2 kids & husband)

I don't even think I want to stay in the same field and I'm in my mid 50's...

I am so miserable

I can't sleep at night and my days are consumed with anxious thoughts about it

Has anyone been thru this? What did you do to get thru it?

So far I have looked on monster.com- did not find anything suitable
Printed out my resume to update (been here 12 yrs.) but then felt paralyzed and couldn't remember my self worth
emailed my former boss who retired and asked for a letter of recommendation

I guess they didn't build Rome in a day and I am expecting too much of myself in getting the move done.

I'm on vacation starting tomorrow but instead of unwinding I'm consumed with fear.
Posted 7/14/2014 4:06 AM (GMT 0)
WRAS.,

Thoughts and prayers going out to you now.

I don't have a lot of practicle advice, as yours and my vocations are so very different...

...but I do hope that you can both find rest and peace...as well as do some good soul searching during your time off.

Know that we support you in any decision that you choose to make.

Your health and well being are priceless...

S.C.
Posted 7/14/2014 4:13 AM (GMT 0)
It's hard but I left a job once because it was literally making me sick just driving to there. And then I was miserable the whole time there.. But you have to do what is best for you.. We can't get portions of our lives back but we can always get another job. Life is to short not to be happy. Wishing you the best of luck whatever you decide.
Posted 7/14/2014 7:59 AM (GMT 0)
You will ultimately need to make that decision for yourself, and a good place to start is the old fashioned plan of pencil and paper and making a list of PROS and CONS.....Something about actually having to write them out and then seeing them side by side.

I have left a job as well because it was detrimental to me. There were other factors involved, but especially now in retrospect, I can see that it was, for me, a dangerous environment that was contributing to my deteriorating mental, physical and yes even spiritual health. I was losing it and in deep water.

Getting out of there, for me, turned out to be the biggest most wonderful step I made in my entire life for myself, and as a result, sure, those around me benefited as well. I made a fraction of what I was accustomed to, but I was never happier, I found peace, I felt joy, and even found myself.

I made my choice because I didn't want to be hurt anymore and it was a huge step. Actually a blind leap of faith because I didn't have another job to go to.

If you have one to go to, remember, while you're there, you can still look for work elsewhere, but at least it will get you out of your environment and away from that dysfunction,....and give you time to refine your resume and still get it out there. You're not locked in!








M.
Posted 7/15/2014 1:28 AM (GMT 0)
thank you for your support & suggestions

pros & cons to leaving - I am going to do this even tho gut says leave leave leave

I had left my boss a voice mail on sat. saying here are a few loose ends to tidy up-blah blah blah- now I am officially on vacation and I won't be checking my email. After I hung up I thought oh oh- he will be offended by that.
Took a day trip to the shore today to find a room near where my bff's (passed away) daughter is getting married soon. Kept telling myself "live in the moment" like my bff learned with her battle of cancer when I kept thinking about my work issues...
Finally managed to enjoy myself.
Peeked at my work email...at least 7 "fires" they needed to put out without me there.
Posted 7/15/2014 4:22 PM (GMT 0)
WRAS,

Wishing a restful day off today!!

Hoping that you can stay off of your work e-mail...and just do something enjoyable for you!! :)

(take off your firefighter gear...it's not your problem to fix right now...you're on vacation!)

Hugs and high fives!

S.C.
Posted 7/15/2014 7:34 PM (GMT 0)
can't unwind yet
having periods of level 10 anxiety
have to keep reminding myself- the goal is baby steps not to be able to go back and give notice because I found a new job.....
Posted 7/16/2014 3:13 PM (GMT 0)
WRAS,

Hoping today finds you feeling better!

Know that we are here and thinking of you.:)

S.C.
Posted 7/17/2014 2:28 AM (GMT 0)
Still having a time of it.
Took a 1/2 a xannax tonight as a preventative of bad work dreams and the need to wake in the middle of the night in panic and having to take a half then.
If I wake up upset again tomorrow- I may have to break down and start taking them every 6 hrs. just to break this cycle. I try to resist medications but I have not felt this anxious in a long long time.
Posted 7/18/2014 3:16 AM (GMT 0)
arrrgggh
doing the breathing exercise but do not have supplements readily available
Feeling out of control
Posted 7/18/2014 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
I would be wary of taking any type of herbal supplements until speaking with your doctor. For now, follow the medical advice your physician has given you, and know that it's okay to take the meds as prescribed.

Try different breathing exercises, (not just the same one),.....some of them do nothing for me, while others (while challenging) work great!

I'm also a big-time self-soother.....finding techniques that work for you in particular are key!








M.
Posted 7/18/2014 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
Perhaps consider buying the supplements? They are easy to find/not expensive and this combination truly works...I was going out of my mind with racing thoughts, tension and heart palpitations. Per the comment from "M"...in my experience a traditional medical Dr is the last person who will know about natural remedies - herbal or otherwise. In my experience their default is the prescription pad...some sort of benzodiazapene for anxiety which will sort of take the symptoms away for awhile but put you at risk for addiction. What you are going through is awful, I know that. Sending you best wishes and a big hug.
Posted 7/18/2014 4:24 PM (GMT 0)
Two things that have helped me.....I haven't started therapy yet but my friend's therapists suggested these things to her. She passed them along to me. 1) when I start panicking about one thing in particular, I really focus on saying the ABC's backwards. Sounds silly, but when you're really focusing on it, you can't focus on the anxious thoughts. 2) at night, if I start to get anxious while trying to sleep, I very intently picture myself going through my entire day that day......every second of it and very specifically. I almost always fall asleep while I'm doing it. I know how you feel and I'm really battling anxiety right now but I'm starting to have more good days while my medicine is kicking in. Wishing you luck!
Posted 7/19/2014 1:44 AM (GMT 0)
teacher,

Those sound like some very good ideas! Thank you for sharing them.




M.
Posted 7/19/2014 12:14 PM (GMT 0)
This is horrible- woke up this morning with the kind of anxiety that makes you feel like you'd like to jump out of your skin. I have to stop this. It's just ridiculous. I'm stronger than this. I can get thru anything. One foot in front of the other. What's the worst that could happen?
OK pep talk didn't work....
Posted 7/19/2014 12:46 PM (GMT 0)
I'll be the first to admit that I tend to a lot more 'preaching' about this topic than I do 'experiencing' it because this is something I struggle with on a rather routine basis.

I'm caught at both ends. I can get jolted out of a sound sleep from anxiety for no reason (but my CP is at it's lowest). Then as the day grinds on, the anxiety lessens and the CP kicks into high gear).

I know, I know,....if it's not one thing, it's another, right?

We can pep-talk ourselves until the cows come home, and sadly, I think that's one of the best things we can do. By "sadly" I mean, I can tell how hard this is for you and how much you've pep-talked yourself already (haven't we all?)....and it's still quite a sticky bugger!

I know of no secret or magic or answer not yet elucidated as how to better manage these culprits. At our best all we can do is cope. Our coping skills will nurse us through these moments.

In the meantime, you got it kiddo,....one foot in front of the other! :)









M.
Posted 7/19/2014 3:13 PM (GMT 0)
WRAS.,

I am so sorry to read of your anxiety ramping up as your mind appears to be spinning with all of the “what if?” thinking.

When my mind starts wandering into the what if zone, I talk to myself and tell myself rational answers for my what-ifs. It’s really hard when the what-ifs escalate. Sometimes it just gets away from us. Another thing that works well for me is distraction. I get up and clean or get on the computer...anything that makes me concentrate on something else. Sometimes I call my "safe person", someone that understands and is able to distract me with other conversation. Deep, slow belly breathing helps to clear your mind too.

To help you get through this anxiety you may need to use the Xanax as ordered your Dr.

 

Xanax can also interact with herbal supplements, specifically supplements that affect the nervous system including St John's Wort, Valerian Root, Melatonin and Kava. Speak to your doctor before taking anything with Xanax, to reduce the chance of any side effects. Resource: Alternative Medicine Review

 

"Natural" is not synonymous with "safe."

Keep talking with us and we will do the best we can to help you deal with the anxiety your feeling.

Big Breath,

Kitt

 

Posted 7/20/2014 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks my friends for the support and suggestions. The xannax calmed me this morning. Got some irons in the fire that are causing me more anxiousness but need to be considered for the big picture...when I'm up to it I'll tell you about it. Meanwhile printed out a bunch of work emails from last week until the server failed, sorted them all in folders of what has to be taken care of on Monday, did you take care of this and where do we stand etc. I will try to get on again tomorrow to get the rest. I am documenting my time spent. I think I am going to call a meeting at some point next week even though I am not the person in charge and say we are broken- what ideas do you have on how to fix us?
I think I am going to take xannax every morning before work to keep calm. I am hoping it will help me to realize and feel comfortable with the fact that I am just one woman and I cannot do it all or please everyone. I plan on making it clear that I want to help the company to succeed but I am not going to put in excessive hrs. both there and at home and sacrifice my health to do it.

Oh I love when I have these brave thoughts....

Think I'll take 1/2 a xannax before bed to ensure rest and keep these peaceful feelings
Posted 7/20/2014 4:25 AM (GMT 0)
WRAS,

This is a great post!! I think that you should print it out, as a reminder that you do have brave thoughts and great ideas.:)

This is my personal favorite...and I think we should all have t-shirts printed up with it!!

'I am just one woman and I cannot do it all or please everyone.'

Keep up the positivity.;)

S.C.
Posted 7/21/2014 2:42 AM (GMT 0)
Well here it is half hr. before bedtime and will be time to go back to work tomorrow. Not sure why but I feel more calm than I have all the week I was out- no xannax involved....

Kinda think I'll take a half just as a preventative- don't want to sit up in bed in the middle of the night with a pounding heart...

I did call my safe person the other day and cried and got it all out and it felt good. She understood completely.

I found an inspirational quote in one of my women's magazines tonight that spoke to me and I cut it out and plan to keep it in view tomorrow.

I think maybe I should also print out SC's personal favorite that I made up on my own and keep it handy as well.

I pray that God will give me the strength and belief in myself despite what is thrown my way.
Posted 7/21/2014 4:20 AM (GMT 0)
WRAS, Yes Mam I do understand this work stress, I was my own
worst enemy because I was a perfectionist. My Manager quit and
the job fell between me and a man who had the letters behind
his name and he got the job. He had no idea how to lead or manage, I went to him and offered to do anything I could to make his experience a success, from that point on he tried to fire
me every day for almost 20 years, it was horrible and for the same reasons you have Family I had to endure, I simply did my
job better than anyone could have and always did just a little more than they expected, I finally turned this problem over to
God because it was beyond me changing this man, At his Retirement I asked if he would mind me asking a question, he
said I probably know what you want but go ahead, I asked him
why he hated me. "His answer was, I despise your Religion",
He just walked away, later I found out he wanted to stay two
more years and labor relations said no, he wanted to know why
they told him, for your inhuman treatment of Larry.
Want to hear something funny, I never complained, not ever,
there is Power in Prayer. Peace

Larry ***
Posted 7/22/2014 2:07 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Larry. You are absolutely right about power in prayer.
Hoping you are feeling well.
Posted 7/22/2014 4:50 AM (GMT 0)
You have to do what is best for you. We cannot get portions of our lives back again but we can always get another job. Life is too short not to be happy. Wanting you the best of luck whoever you hire.
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