Severe anxiety over surgery, anesthesia & hospital stay

I'm trying hard to control my anxiety but its at an all time high because I'm scheduled for surgery next week and I really don't want to back out again but I can't imagine actually going through with it feeling this way. I don't know what to do, I'm scared and overwhelmed and feel bad from feeling this way because I know most people deal with medical problems all the time and don't have a problem with going to the hospital for treatment and I know it may be a little irrational but it's how I feel and sometimes just thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to pass out, like it's hard to breathe, my heart beats so fast and I get hot all over.

I'm afraid to be put to sleep because I don't know what anyone is doing to me while I'm asleep the thought of that really triggers my PTSD and I know I shouldn't think that way, after all who is going to mess with me in a hospital? But I can't get the fear out of my mind. So many things can go wrong with anesthesia they have to ask 100 questions just to clear you for it and I have to be asleep for over 3 hours. I've had outpatient surgery before that took about an hour or 2 and I don't like the feeling of anesthesia afterwards, that very out of it groggy feeling, I don't feel in control like that.

I don't feel safe somewhere other than my own bed at night and I'll have to stay in the hospital. What will the doctor do if I have a panic attack in the hospital, will they move me to the psychiatric floor? I don't want to be in the hospital crying or freaking out and if I do this I'll be doing it alone.

When I think about going I just go into panic mode but when I think about not going and backing out again it calms me down a little. I know this may not make sense and people don't normally think this way. I'm trying to not think this way I know people deal with much worse and make it through just fine, why am I in such a panic and flooded with emotions? Why can't I just snap out of this and let it go?

Has anyone ever had fears about the hospital or surgery or anesthesia? How did you deal with it? I don't know what to do to just let go of the fears.

hi crazy and heart,

i'm sorry you are having so much trouble dealing with surgery. believe me, LOTS of people fear it, the hospital and all the rest. what you are feeling is not that unusual. talking about it will help. feel free to write in here as much as you need to.

it might help to tell your doctor and the nurses in the hospital that you are anxious. they deal with this all the time. they are there to help you through this procedure, so i would recommend trying to think of them as being on your side. like i said, they deal with this all the time.

if there is anything that soothes you, such as a stuffed animal, take that along with you to the hospital. just anything that you find soothing.

give yourself permission to feel all the feelings you have. sometimes once you really allow yourself to feel the feelings, they change. (this is something that i am saying, realizing it applies to me too, and that if i just feel the feelings i won't feel captive to them).

i wish you both good luck!

I totally understand those fears. I have had to have my gallbladder removed under general and then have a scope done with light sedation. Both of them I was terrified but the day of the procedures I just had to keep telling myself it has to be done and I had to hold on to the hope that things would be better after.

IF you are having severe anxiety or panic the likely thing they would do is ask you if they can give you something to help you relax. They are not going to send you to a psyche ward for being afraid or panicky.

I think it is totally understandable to be afraid before a procedure or being sedated. Try to ask as many questions as you can so you will feel reassured you will be safe. LOL I had to have a mere MRI with contrast the other day and I had never had this particular contrast injected before and you can bet I was asking questions before she did!

Hi crazeyhazeynut,

I'm sorry you're going through the exact same thing. Thanks for sharing that with me sometimes it does help to know that I'm not alone. I feel weird telling you not to back out of your procedure after I have already backed out of my surgery dates before, but I don't want to encourage anyone to give in to their fears or anxiety. I don't want anyone to make the same mistakes I have made. When it's a procedure or surgery that I can have done and go home the same day, I've had a lot of anxiety but I managed to make it through it by taking something for my anxiety and knowing that I can come home and relax or cry or do whatever it is I need to do in the privacy of my own home.

I know that sometimes reading about certain procedures can make our anxiety a little worse. Because people talk about how painful or scarey something was and it makes us more scared.

I have also been watching tv trying to kind of put my mind on something else because when I think about things I start to feel anxious and depressed and start crying. So I am trying to focus on something else.

I don't really have anyone in my life that I can talk to that's why I've been trying to get up the nerve to post on here. I'm glad you have your husband I just wish he was a little more understanding he probably just doesn't really know how to respond but I'm sure he wants to be supportive.

I hope that your fear eases up on you a little. Maybe you can keep me posted on your procedure and talk about how you're feeling.

Sending hugs your way in case you need them.

Hi time2reclaim,

I'm glad you were able to make it through your surgery and procedure. I know that I need to try to tell myself exactly what you told yourself that's something I need to work on.

As far as my fear of being sent to the psych ward I guess when I have panic attacks or cry a lot, I can seem unstable and it seems like if you've had a history of "self harm" some doctors are always quick to put you on the psych floor even if you don't agree so I've been against my will many times so I guess I kind of have a fear about that. So I try hard to hold my emotions in or not seem too upset.

As far as asking questions that's where another big issue comes in at, I'm always afraid to ask question or too nervous especially if it's a male doctor. My last MRI was with contrast and I really didn't understand what that meant or what they were injecting me with or why I had to go in twice but I was afraid to ask. I was just focusing on trying not to scoot down & out of that thing because I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. So I know I need to work on asking questions.

Thanks so much for your reply.

This brings up a really good point, and yup, it's something I'm also working very hard at.

Asking questions, and being able to present in a coherent way.

I do the same thing, I get flustered very easily, distracted, overly concerned about what the doctors or techs may think of me (as opposed to asking questions to get the best answers).

Of course, when I leave,.....oh sure, sure,....THEN all the questions come to me! Figures, right?









M.

HFO.,

Your short paragraph in your last post speaks volumes...and I am so sorry.:(

I know that letting go of the past is not something that you can just do quickly and easily...

...but know that you are in control now, and in charge of how your present experiences go at the appointments. You are the boss...and these medical professionals work for you.:)

Having some sense of calling the shots may help you to feel more confident and less fearful of any upcoming procedures.

With support,

S.C.

My anxiety has been pretty high since yesterday and it's pretty bad right now. I feel like I'm having a heart attack or about to pass out but I know I'm not. I'm trying to kind of put my focus on something else by reading on here. I just wish I didn't get my self so worked up like this. I'm going to have to work on some things with my therapist again today and my anxiety is just like through the roof. It's like my anxiety and depression are in a battle and I'm just sitting here watching.