Not doing well right now

Hello everyone,

I've been away for awhile, but checking in on others posts. I was doing seemingly ok, busy, feeling pretty good, until a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I've hit bottom again and wanted to post just to get it off my chest. Crazy too, because the tears came just typing that last sentence. Anyway...here goes. 

I was really busy the month of June helping my parents in the final preparations of selling their home after 18 years since they are full time Arizona residents now. It was VERY difficult and emotional removing things from the house that was home...where my kids pretty much grew up and many memories of holidays, celebrations, etc took place. They had an estate sale conducted and seeing people leave with all those little pieces of home that I've know all my life was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Anyway, they sold the house and we tearfully said goodbye as they drove back to AZ. My son and I can't even drive by the house now because it's too hard.

The first of May, I started a second job to help pay off some bills faster feel more productive, doing something besides go home to my apartment and watch TV. I like the job and the people alot although I do work late a few nights a week and get about 5 hours of sleep.

I am also, again, dealing with a sinus infection and fluid in my ears that messes with my equiplibrium and I can't seem to shake it. I'm on round 5 or 6 of antibiotics since Dec. I started again Friday and still don't feel any better. I spent the weekend sleeping and still feel tired.

The last couple of weeks I have felt exhausted, cried for seemingly no reason at times, although some of it has been just seeing something on TV that triggers something and makes me cry. In the morning I hit snooze until I HAVE to get up and really just want to lay there and sleep more. I have been out walking everyday until I got the sinus/ear thing again on Friday. I left my fulltime job early Friday to go the doctor and called in sick to my part time job yesterday which I feel guilty about. Also, my daughter and grandson who live out of state are moving back soon and my son and his girlfriend that live here by me are very happy and expecting a baby in January. I am happy about all that. So why am I feeling at my wits end, sad, down, just not myself the last few weeks? Any thoughts? FYI for those that don't know. I'm almost 51, menopause or post-menopause, and have had anxiety for years. Meds are Effexor XR 150, Ativan .25 as needed, Prilosec, Lipitor. Thanks for "listening" to me vent.

Hi mysweetpanda,

I'm sorry you're not doing well right now. You've been dealing with a lot recently and it's understandable that you feel a lot of the emotions your feeling right now.

I can totally relate to that feeling of having things to be happy about, yet feeling like you're at your wits end. Sometimes our anxiety may affect us when we least expect it. Even though we have things we should be happy about sometimes anxiety or depression comes up and what matters most is how we deal with it.

I tend to be hard on myself so I know that feeling but try not to be so hard on yourself, you have every right to feel the emotions you're feeling over the issues you're dealing with. Try not to feel guilty about having to call of work, we all have medical issues that come up and we have no control over those.

I just wanted to offer a little support and let you know that you're not alone. I hope that you feel a little better.

Sending hugs your way in case you need them.

Dumb move...went on the internet and typed in exhausted, no energy, a bit of a cough, and what pops up??? Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I am trying to forget that I even saw that and writing down what I want to talk to my dr about on Wednesday. I just had physical in Feb and stress test in March and all were fine.