My doctors visit

Just a simple update I went to see my doctor, he was as handsome as last time , but a little disappointed that I haven't improved and have gotten worse, I am not saying he is disappointed in me, just my HUGE set back.

He upped my Lexapro to 30 mgs a day, I had just filled my 20 mg refill on the 20th of this month, and when I went to get the new dosage filled the pharmacist said my insurance would only fill 30 of them, if anyone knows how expensive lexapro is then you know what I am talking about(and I get the generic)they say they have to get authorization, and I told them I didn't want to increase my dosage and then not be able to get that dose. So I did call my doctor(haven't heard from them yet)

I am kind of thinking that they could only give me 30 of them because I had 3o filled just about 10 days ago, because the doctor made the script for 45 a month. So I will see, I will not increase it till I know for sure that I can be covered for 30 mgs a day, I have never heard of them limiting you pills to 30 a month, I get 60 xanax a month with no problem.

I am a little panicky today, but I have an appointment for my first therapy session on August 13, so that is a great step in the right direction, I have been eating very well, and walking my dog every night, its not a long walk but it is a start.

I appreciate each one of you!

Brenda!

This is not my first time taking an AD, I was on zoloft for some time and I did very well on it, but when the dosage need to be upped past 100 mg my body couldn't tolerate it and I became very shaky(basically it was losing its effectiveness but I couldn't be increased) I then was put on Paxil and had such an adverse reaction that I had to go to the ER, and had to stop the medication immediately, my doctor then put me on lexapro and this is probably my 5 month I believe.

My doctor is a Psychiatrist I have been seeing him for almost 2 years, I have seen others in the past but he is just right for me, when I leave his office I feel comforted and like there is hope for me, I did tell him I think it is best for me to see him more often for a while till I can be comfortable going 3 months without him at a time, and being I am going to start therapy that could really help me(although he told me it could be very hard at first)

I am 47, and I have thought too that I have a hormonal imbalance and could be peri-menopausal, the last time my primary doctor checked she said I was not pre or peri, but that was a few years ago, so things could have changed, I see her this month and will really ask about that.

Lesweet, looking at your summary above you are on busbar and xanax(as needed for the xanax) what dose of xanax are you on if you don't mind me asking, I was wondering if busbar helped you at all, I have been on that before it didn't help me.

Do you have depression issues too or just anxiety? I have both! But when I get anxious, if left untreated which I did, it'll turn into an eventual funk. God forbid I just have one or the other lol! I'd say anxiety is my major complaint bc I can have it during "good/normal" days. The depression in my life has only been in "bouts" and never lasted more than a month or 2. I've been in the pits of depression once when I was in college. The subsequent 3 bouts were never that deep BUT somehow felt just as miserable. The depersonalization/detachment/freak show feelings, are the things I least tolerate and freak the freak out over. Anxiety can invoke the same feelings. Yay rah! (I've been on a menopause chit chat site & they call that depersonalization stuff "fog").

They just added Wellbutrin to my a Pristiq a week & a half ago. So far nothing bad and knock on wood, better feelings I think?! I still have some major life stress going on, mostly with my BFF who is like us (thank God she & I have never been in the pits at that same time lol), is moving away with her husbands job. This move has been dragging out since January. My other BFF moved last year then yet another friend moved suddenly in March. I have 2 friends left here and neither are available bc of work/family/not empathetic like the other 3 were. (Funny they're both on ad's & take Xanax prn for anxiety but the one friend clams up when talking abt feeling/emotions but the other is decent abt talking abt it and supporting me). I never thought that I was grieving until my therapist mentioned it! He said it was like empty nest syndrome. The other 2 friends moved quickly. But I still had my best BFF here so I was ok but now that she's moving and the process has drug out so long, it's been hard plus the medicine dance I've been on. Plus I'm a homemaker w/o children and these women were my social connections/tribe & even tho I love hubby dearly and he's supportive, he's not a girlfriend..

I need to get a part time job or hobby or something but I'm admittedly stalling until I feel more stable. I haven't worked since 2009 when I was laid off for the 2nd time in social work. "Getting a job anxiety" I had on a good day let alone when I still feel a but raw smh lol.

Yadda yadda- I just blabbered. Thanks for listening. A penny for your thoughts LOL