crazy partner adds to causes of anxiety

I need to vent and get some outside opinions. I have been with my partner for 24 yrs. It has been a very rocky road. I have always been the stable one to hold it all together, financially and emotionally. My partner has never sought professional help unlike myself who has been in and out of counseling for years.

I have been able to somewhat cope until I got physically ill last year which morphed into anxiety disorder this spring.

Here are two examples of what I have to work with.

3 yrs. ago we had to buy a new truck. The old one fell apart due to a recall problem and Toyota gave us a nice check to replace it. We found a perfect truck but it required 2,000 extra dollars. I "lent it" to my partner with the understanding that he would pay me back AND cover the monthly insurance bill. He works very sporadically so any month that he does work, I ask him for the truck payment. He never offers. So, this month i asked him. His reply was, "When is the plow guy going to fix the fence he broke last winter". I was speechless. Then he said it was my responsibility to call the plow guy. I said, if it bothered him so much since he had built the fence, he could make the call. This brought the silent treatment for 2 days.

Example #2: I was sitting in the next room when I heard something crash to the floor and break. I had my suspicions and was right. My partner had put a small plate under a mason jar and when he picked up the jar , the plate was stuck to it and thus lifted off the counter and then fell to the floor. It was part of a tea set that my grandparents had given to me when I was very little. I picked up the pieces and almost broke into tears. There was no response from my partner. Not a word. I asked him if he could say he was sorry, at least. His response: "When is the plow guy going to fix the fence". How do I counter such logic?

The next day was my birthday. He took me for a hike and out to dinner as if nothing was wrong and it shall remain so unless I bring up some serious or uncomfortable subject about money or responsibility.

I don't know how you've managed to stay with a man like this for 24 yrs. I would've kicked him out a long time ago. You need to get your health back but he's just making things worse for you. You need to stand up to him and give him an ultimatum. Good luck making decisions. Hope you will be in good health soon.

Narcissistic. Not a word i have used in the past but very fitting. I like the thought of putting him in a different position in my life. I have to place more emphasis on my friends. Kicking him out always sounds like a simple solution but nothing in life is simple.

Flying solo is something I am not comfortable with but I am trying. Doing what he wanted to do all the time didn't work so try another approach.