Waiting and the terrible places my mind goes

Why can't I not immediately go to the worst case scenario??

Several weeks ago something came up in my mri that the doctors were unsure of - an area of inflammation, which could be due to infections, viruses, or could be structural. The only thing they definitively told me was that it wasn't a tumor. Which, do not get me wrong, is very good news (that it isn't a tumor)!

I had a spinal tap on Friday (which was awful and I am still sore from). But now, I have nothing to do except nap and watch tv and have this terrible thing called Google at my fingertips.

I am so scared that what I have is AVM and that this will bring about an early death for me; taking me away from my children and husband that I love so very much.

I am very afraid and want so badly to be healthy and well and here for my family.

I have been dealing with this deep anxiety and a multitude of strange physical symptoms for over 2 years now... At first, everyone told me it was "just anxiety" - which was difficult to take because my physical symptoms were very real and I had never experienced anything like this before. After seeing doctor after doctor and specialist after specialist, something was found on an mri and I still don't have answers and I don't feel any better or safer.

Well said Sc. That actually brought me a lot of comfort!