anxiety has kicke din while i wait for the call to go to work

keep strong.

I hope you have a wonderful blessed day. Hugs

CD.

I am sorry that you had a rough morning. I understand anticipatory anxiety...

I can even get a little on edge waiting for someone to arrive at my house...just the suprise element I guess, not knowing exactly when something is going to happen.

I think those of us with anxiety have issues with control...because so much of the time, we feel like we don't have any. Therefore, waiting for something to happen, such as your phone call in the morning, puts you in an untethered state of 'What is going to happen today?'

You can try taking back the reins by using postive mantras. Repeating something like these phrases could work...(or some you come up with that you find helpful)

"No matter what happens today...call into work or not...I can handle anything that comes my way."

"The waiting may cause my some anxious feelings, but I can successfully rise to any call or challenge that I get."

The words we speak to ourselves have power...so speak some powerful truth to yourself as soon as you get up each morning.:)

I hope that you have a good day, doing what you enjoy when you're not working! ;)

S.C.

Would you be more comfortable in a position that wasn't "as needed" or "on call?"

Is part of your anxiety the whole not knowing if they are or are not going to call? You do seem to enjoy what you do very much,...but the circumstances are what precipitates this rush of anxiety.

I made a post a few pages back about a 20-second mindfulness exercise. It gives you an idea of the *concept* at least. If you cannot find it, let me know, and I can either repost it or link to it.

I'm happy to type it out, but thought maybe some of the additional replies that thread got might be helpful to you. Do let me know. I empathize with what you're experiencing. I was in somewhat similar circumstances. Not entirely the same, but similar....






M.

Here I am again. I slept better last night. Didn't wake up quite so early. I am in the waiting game once again, blowing into my balloon and typing away. I have exercises I can do from my PT who is working on a hip issue that I couldn't afford to address until I met my deductible.

I went to school yesterday and felt o.k. once I was there. Just on my own, not at work. That helps keep me in the routine and feeling comfortable in the building. My co-worker teachers are all great and support me through this illness. They knew about the physical stuff but i am uneasy about mentioning the anxiety. People cannot understand unless they have been there. I have been surprised to find friends mention their difficulties once I mention mine. That is helpful that they are willing to confide in me.

45 minutes to go. it is dark and I need to be my strongest right now. Keep breathing.

This forum has been so helpful. My doctor will be pleased when I can explain to her why I haven't been bugging her with e-mails. She was getting quite annoyed that I was wasting her precious time when she had other patients to deal with. I am so ready to find another primary once Iget back on my feet.

I got the cal at 5:50. So here I sit in 8th Grade Social Studies. The kids are great and I am so happy to be here. Now for mindfulness exercises.

Eventually I will get assignments ahead of time. I have to feel better and not commit too far ahead. that would also increase my anxiety. Yes, today the call was later than usual. i would have loved to be able to walk longer before I had to leave. But right now I feel pretty good and am looking forward to the rest of the day. Hopefully this good experience will lessen my anxiety in days to come.

One more class to go for the day. so happy to be here.

Circus Dog said...
I didn't get called so I have my day planned and the anxiety is almost gone. I have done this for 10 yrs. and was fine until I got sick a year ago and had mornings where i felt so awful, I didn't want them to call.

what is mindfulness? I am open to anything.

Is it possible that your thoughts are running on the old loop of "I hope they don't call me because I am feeling ill today" its like a repetitive conditioned response to the telephone ringing, your remembering the anxiety and fear you felt when you felt ill, in that moment, and now, "when certain bells" ring (phone) you automatically feel bad, even though you know rationally you really like the work..

Maybe chanting some kind of mantra in the morning, possibly whilst taking a shower, something like "I cant wait to hear that telephone ring" because whether they want you of not today, it is a GOOD thing, you either work that day, or have the entire day all to yourself......a wonderful luxury.

Another morning. woke up at 2 soaking wet and nervous all over. I have 2 Lorazepans left. I took on eto see if it would help. I am on Paxil and Lamictal, reaching week 3. It helped. Right now I feel exhausted from not much sleep but much less nervous. I didn't get a call so I hope to go back ti sleep for a few hours. I need to be at school later today. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon. My doctor is adamantly against Benzos. I don't know if I can convince her to renew the Lorazapam or is there something else that might help in the short term. These nerve attacks started when I decided to go back to work. I am hoping I will readjust soon and not be so nervous overnight and all day. I had a good day at school yesterday. I had the 8th Grade which can be the most difficult group to deal with.