inc lass and loving it. why the mroning anxiety?

I wake up at 2 a,m.with horrific anxiety. I have taken Attivan that did nothing. I took all my regular meds, did my walking, drove to school. I was fine by the time I got to school 30 minutes later. I expect to go through the same routine tonight. I hate this.

This is a new pattern because I am doing a special project at school. I did a dance residency in June and I was so sick every day. I am full of anxiety thinking that it will happen again. I take Valerian Root before I go to sleep. I fall asleep o.k. I take my Paxil and Lamictal at night and in the morning. I only recently started taking the Attivan at 2 a.m. so I could fall back to sleep. I hope tonight will be better since I have started the dance program and it is going well. I have been anticipating this week since the weekend. My anxiety has gotten worse. I hope this i s a temporary setback. I am exercising as much as possible to counteract the anxiety symptoms. My docotr wants to put me on different meds, Effexor, more expensive and new side effects to overcome. i don't want to take that root. I don't see her for a few weeks. No appointments this week. My Chinese Herbal doc is making me a new formula to try today. I hope that makes a difference. I could try taking my Paxil and Lamictal right before I go to bed and see if that makes a difference. Then it wouldn't be 12 and 12 hrs. because I have to take the morning dose before I leave for work at 6:30. Would it matter if the night dose was closer to the day dose?

I tried taking my meds at 8 last night and made it until 4 this morning before the anxiety kicked in. I usually go to bed around 8:30. I usually wake up around 11 p.m. so I am going to try taking the meds then and see if the early a.m. is better.

I have been getting to school for my dance residency. Once I am at school I am almost fine. By mid-day and in the midst of rehearsals I am fine. By the end of the day, I am exhausted but not anxious. The pattern begins again the following morning.

I used to teach dance classes in a studio. My college degree is in modern dance but my favorite was jazz. Now I work in a middle school and get all the students to dance within their curriculum. This fall project is Spanish dances with the 8th Grade. I have 5 classes doing traditional Spanish dances from various countries. My favorite dance this year in the Tango. I have 32 students, boys and girls who volunteered to do this dance. It is going to be so awesome. I see them all in black and red. Some of the boys are going to get tuxedos.

Now I am not sure if my anxiety is all illness based or my usual pre-performance anxiety just elevated. I want the performance to go well so I worry that the students won't learn it well enough in time. We only have 3 short rehearsals before the big day. The students this year are great and very enthusiastic. I am so exhausted by the end of the day. More so than usual.

I used to teach creative movement at a local Montessori school. I love that age group.

Is teaching dance your full-time job? I was never able to make it work full-time. I always had to have other jobs.

I will. I am sure that I will post before that. I have 4 days off. I have to figure out what to do to rest up and be ready for the final push next week.