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Dying in your sleep

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Posted 10/9/2014 2:11 AM (GMT 0)
To begin with I'm not suicidal, I have an extremely strong belief that it is the only sin you can NEVER be forgiven for! Now that this is out of the way, I have daily chronic pain syndrome and will for the rest of my life. Which of course brings up the depression issue. I have been hospitalized many times over the past 10 years for panic/anxiety attacks and now we get to add the depression into the mix.

I just wanted to ask, I'm I the only one that sometimes wishes that a heart attack or something like that, which could take my life in my sleep, would be OK? cry
Posted 10/9/2014 9:17 AM (GMT 0)
I'm a chronic pain patient too and have been for years. I'm also on A/D meds, pain meds, and a bunch of other meds. I'm......complicated.

One thing I learned a long time ago when things were not being managed appropriately is that there is a HUGE difference between 'wanting to be dead'.....and 'not caring if you're alive.' And yes, to be frankly honest, I've been there. Many times across the years.

I'm thankfully no longer in that position but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and that there are others that can fully relate to those feelings....





M.
Posted 10/9/2014 3:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Trudy and welcome to the A/P

I am really sorry to hear of your pain and challenging situation. I am sure that there can be moments of extreme difficulties and lows.

Do you have a therapist who you can talk to, and get help with coping skills to enable you to better manage the anxiety/attacks/depression? If not, is this a possiblity for you to pursue? Therapy has proven to be beneficial for the issues that you face...and many of us here can recommend it highly.

We are of course here to listen, understand and care anytime that you need support...so keep posting.

Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/9/2014 4:16 PM (GMT 0)
I feel that my PM no longer seem to care or even ask how I'm doing, I feel like I just don't matter any more. He has gotten to the point that no one can help me so he just gives me my pain meds and sends me on my way. I live in a very small town and am extremely limited on choice of doctors.

I have found a physiologist to see the only problem is he specializes in drug addicts and does not really deal with the kind of help I need. There are 2 other clinics in town, however, they do not take my insurance and I cannot afford their prices.

I feel in LIMBO ... I am married to a wonderful man who really does try to understand, however, he does have his limits. I could be having a really bad day and because he doesn't know what to do, he'll walk away and ignore me.

I'm tired....
Posted 10/9/2014 4:48 PM (GMT 0)
Trudy,

I am sorry to hear that you don't have great choices as far as therapy go...

We do have some good self-help in the Resources here. I will provide the link below. Check it out and see if anything looks helpful for you.



https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206

We are here to be a support, so know that you can come and talk with us anytime. Just having others understand is a huge step in the healing direction! :)

Talk to you soon,

S.C.

Posted 10/10/2014 12:26 AM (GMT 0)
uggggh I remember a time when my RA was so bad I was afraid I would die and I was afraid I wouldn't die...it was a very dark time.

I prayed a lot and I tried to find small things to find goodness in

I wish you all the best. Pain gets very old, tiring and makes you feel lonely. I hope you get some relief.
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