Hi i'm new and here is my story

Hi every 1 my name is Nolan I'm 23 years old seems like no one understands who I talk to. My step sister age of 17 died about a month and a half ago. My life before that consisted of constantly working out lifting weights and running at night. I felt fit and invincible. 2 weeks after this happened I was fine then once it all settled down I started getting strong feelings of dread and thinking something was wrong with me out of no where. At 1st I tried to cope with it and think of something else. Until it finally happened I was at work and I felt my heart start racing for no reason got that feeling of dread. Heart palpitations scared the hell out of me a little bit of tingling the shortness of breath I did not know what was happening. So I was rushed to the ER and of course everything came back normal. Except for blood pressure which later on dropped due to the amount of stress I was going through. Doctor joked around but was true they did every test on me expect put a finger in my ass. EKG chest xray checked thyroid blood tests the whole nine.

Said I was good and sent me home that day. After that day my health anxiety increased ten fold I'm a very compulsive person with a extremely addictive personality. Logically I should be at ease since all my test came back good but I guess I'm not a logical person. I went from working out 10-12 hours a week to thinking I have a heart condition I'm always on edge doing compulsive things. Like checking my pulse holding my breath clinching my fist biting down hard with my jaw. I'm starting to feel frail and 60 years older I'm driving myself insane. I'm giving myself physical symptoms and of course googling makes it that much worst. I have a pretty powerful mind I'm relentless and always been mind strong I have accomplished things because of my willpower. Now it's working against me I dwell on things always have that's my personality. So I'm dwelling on this literally probably 21 of the 24 hours in a day.

I'm so in-tune with my body now I can feel everything little chest pain I feel it gives me anxiety then it elevates more and more. Gotten to the point I can feel my pulse all over my body sometimes even in my chest. Tried going back to exercise can't get in the mind set can't stop thinking about this it's turning into an obsession. My mind is really starting to mess with me I get these deja vu feeling sometimes like I've already been here then I immediately get a feeling of dread thinking something is about to happen. Can barley sleep eating is barely. I drink a lot of water, at night I go to drinking alcohol makes me feel better for that time I'm buzzed but it seems in the long run it makes it worst. I go through different emotions I either get really scared or I get to the point where I'm just exhausted and don't give a darn.


It's at the point now where I don't even realize how bad I'm making the anxiety worst on myself it's like I just accepted it and think it's normal now and continue to obsess on thinking something is going to happen to me. Then I get into the mindset like it's not anxiety something wrong and that's when it spirals even more out of control. My stomach is always in knots always got a bad feeling on my mind my throat feels like there's always a lump in it chest pains come and go. I'm a mess and it's ruining my life sorry for the long post felt like I had to let it out.

Hello Nolan! Wecome to Healing Well.

I am sorry for your loss. I totally understand every single thing you are feeling. Many of us here are on the same boat so we try to support each other as much possible.

You are suffering from anxiety, which most likely came to surface after you lose your dear sister. It is never 100% possible to cope with it after a loved one's death but we try our best to be strong and accept it.
As Andwes mentioned, it will take some time to heal but you will definitely feel better. There are many techniques you can use to calm yourself. Breathing techniques will help you a lot. In the first post of the anxiety forum, there are many sources you can use to learn things.
Here is the link;
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206

Let me remind you this, you are a young and healthy person. The chances of you getting a serious condition is very low to begin with. Besides you got all of the test results clear. Everyone here have those coming and going pain symptoms and almost all the time we panic. They are nothing but anxiety symptoms. You are feeling them x10 because you are paying attention to your body very much. I recommend you to ask for a professional who can help you with therapy and medication. And please don't feel frustrated and upset about it. We all do get help with meds and therapy :) Nothing's wrong with it.

Please keep on posting. Healing Well is full of kind and understanding people who support each other <3
I hope you feel yourself better soon.

Hi Nolan and welcome.

Let me also add my condolences in regards to your loss. This kind of tragedy can certainly be a catalyst for anxiety...especially in terms of health, as your sister passed at such a young age.

There is however help and hope for you to recover from your fears and symptoms.

Did the doctors at the ER, or perhaps your GP make any recommedations as to medications and/or therapy to help you to manage the anxiety?

If not, this is something to consider and inquire about perhaps. Both of these treatment options are excellent choices...

Self-help is another way to get relief from the worries that currently impeding your well being.

Here are a few links to check out. It takes some time and effort to go through these, but it is worth it. You need to practice the suggestions as part of your daily routine for the best results...but you will find yourself feeling better in time.

Health Anxiety - A Self Help Guide:

 

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypochondria/pages/introduction.aspx

Helping health Anxiety

 

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_id=53

Health Anxiety- The Super Scanner

http://www.get.gg/docs/SuperScanner.pdf

Keep posting with us as well if you find it helpful. We understand, care and are here to support you anytime.:)

Scaredy Cat

Hey Nolan,

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. What a devastating and tragic event to go through. I'm not sure that you will want to share your feelings about that with everyone, because it is such a delicate subject, but can you find someone to share your feelings with about that? I am willing to bet that this loss has really caused you some inner despair that needs to be shared with a trusted friend / family member.

I applaud you posting here, and believe that you will find very caring and thoughtful responses here. I too can relate to what you are going through and want to offer you some hope in that I lost 3 friends in the end of January and my anxiety surfaced in the same exact way as yours 2 weeks after their deaths. All of their deaths came in the course of 2 weeks in the end of January. It is now October and I am starting to have my "normal" life back.

I believe that with time, and healing you are going to make it through this. Make sure to take it easy on yourself for a bit though. Sorry again for your loss & forthcoming anxiety.

:(

Post Edited (TooMuchAnxiety) : 10/14/2014 9:50:42 AM (GMT-6)