Good night at work

I wanted to share about my night at work. I started out with a lot of anxiety when I was going but told myself I'd be okay. Normally at my job when my supervisor takes her lunch break I have to cover both my position and hers which can and often does get out of control busy. When I say busy I'm talking high stress, want to scream busy. I was working with a supervisor I don't work with too often tonight but am comfortable with and was going to tell her that she'd need to find someone else to cover her position. Well she came up to me just like "normal" times before any of this anxiety happened and told me she was going to lunch and what all I needed to do while she was gone. I decided in that instant I would just handle it.

So it was only about 45 minutes but it was CRAZY. I had three different people on three phones I was trying to help at once all while also trying to deal with customers everywhere. I never every could've imagined that I could handle it but I did. Even before the anxiety I have always hated covering my bosses position and mine at the same time (even though it's a short period) because it's darn near impossible and usually ends up with me having angry customers. The fact that I managed this tonight is amazing to me. My heart rate got waaay up there and I could really feel it but I just told myself to go with it and that it would calm down eventually. I also tried to do deep breathing but not sure if that did much. What I dealt with tonight was something that I'd been fearing and wondering how I would avoid it. I'm so proud of myself for not avoiding it and for doing it well.

The second thing will probably seem really dumb but was big for me. At the end of the night when the store is going to close I have to do stupid announcements over the PA. I hate doing it because once when I was brand new I messed it up and it has made me super nervous ever since. We also always give each other crap while doing it and try to get the person to mess up (amazingly my boss is the worst at doing this to me). Anyway I had totally planned on telling them I could not do these announcements and that someone else would have to for me for awhile. I knew I'd feel dumb but I also knew how anxious it made me feel normally so there was no way I could do it now.

The time came tonight to do the first one and I told myself I could do it. My heart was racing out of my chest and I felt like I would throw up or just go totally blank. It took me a few minutes but I DID IT! It may not sound like much but to get on the darn intercom and talk in front of all these people was huge for me. Like I said even before this I despised doing it. I was sooooo proud of myself again for just doing it and getting it over with.

The last thing I want to share is how I keep finding out how many people deal with anxiety. One of my favorite coworkers was there tonight and we hadn't seen each other in weeks. We finally got time to discuss what had been going on with me. Much to my surprise before I even got all the way through my story she jumped in and asked me if I had been having anxiety and panic disorder. She told me about how she'd been through it for years. I've heard this from more than one person and I think it is so interesting. I feel like it is a lot more prevalent than we realize.

All in all it was a roller coaster ride of a night. My heart got a good workout but I lived to tell about it lol. It felt so good to be in my element and have that feeling again that I'm darn good at my job. I also realized tonight that I do have a very stressful job and I don't think I really ever gave myself credit for that. Anyway thanks for listening everyone!!!

Hi

I am pleased you are confronting your anxiety head on and that you had a good night at work that is great news it is also good that you have met others in the workplace that can relate to what you are going through which hopefully means you can be of support to each other.


Hibee

That is awesome-sauce! Way to go BB!

BB.

You have come so far... Seems like I am seeing improvement with anxiety each time I read a post. Proud of you!

Cornell

Billy, you were given a Spirit of positiveness, i dont know how we
get side tracked on to the negative side but it happens, your a
very cool lady, "keep exercising the positive". and when you are
off work, dont dwell on the job, just go in and do it, Peace

Larry ***