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Posted 10/26/2014 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
I really wish my mother knew my struggle and what I fight on a day to day& just then maybe she would understand &wouldn't say half the things she say that only make me feel much more worse than I already do. She says be thankful Iam more than thankful, but Iam not thankful for anxiety, thyroid issues, and depression no I will never be thankful for feeling out of no where like my heart about to jump out my chest and the pain that comes with it .
I will never be thankful for the stress are the extra stress at job, at home at school because right now I just don't need none of the stress financial issues I try to keep hope and faith but this has been years of the same dang thing and I just need it to be better. So I can be better and get out of the place with my mother because I do my best to keep peace, I try my hardest but she always have something mean, evil, and hurtful to say and it is just not right.
Posted 10/27/2014 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
Soul...

Would your mom read a book for anxiety sufferers supporters?

I asked my husband to read one so he could try and understand what I was going through.

I can make recommendations if you'd like...let me know.

Sending encouragement and hugs!!

S.C.
Posted 10/27/2014 3:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hey SoulNHealing,

I grew up in a very similar situation. My parents were SUPER negative and critical. Emotionally and verbally abusive. Sometimes physically. My heart was damaged at a very young age. The reason I share this with you is because I want you to know that you're not alone in having a parent who does not know how to love you and speak to you the right way.

If you can, please consider having grace for your Mom. If she is speaking to you this way, the chances are that she was raised by similar parents who hurt her deeply. She probably doesn't want to speak to you this way, but doesn't know how to speak to you the right way. She probably didn't have good role models to look up to.

I know that it's hard, but if you can love her despite her flaws, and forgive her in spite of the pain she causes you, this will really be better for you. I am not suggesting to trust that she will not hurt you again, because she likely will. My parents still hurt me, and I have not lived with them in over 11 years. I am just suggesting that it will be easier for you if you look at the big picture and realize that she is a hurting person.

Thinking of ya, and rooting for ya!
Posted 10/27/2014 10:11 PM (GMT 0)
TMA...

Beautiful advice! I am all about grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love! Fantastic input (as usual)!

SNH, I would also encourage you to have grace and forgiveness towards your mother, not necessarily for her benefit but for yours! If we carry around a bunch of the negative emotions that accompany sadness and resentment then that will add to our anxiety and make us miserable human beings... Learn to forgive and let go! You will be a happier and healthier person because of it!

Now with that being said, just because you show grace and understanding towards your mother doesn't mean you have to go around her. I know this sounds harsh but I said this in another post and it has served me well in the last few years...DON'T INVITE THOSE IN YOUR LIFE THAT DON'T MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD...

If your mother is constantly displaying negative attitudes toward you then cut down on your 'contact' with her. Unfortunately, that's what I had to do with my own mother and I am a happier person today (although I still long for her approval).

Take SC's advice and give her the tools to get educated with GAD. This will allow her to see things from your point of view and will help to build your support system.

Wishing you the best of luck with this!

Hugs

Cornell

Post Edited (Cornell) : 10/27/2014 4:14:54 PM (GMT-6)

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