Fast heartbeat this morning is scaring me.

I really had a bad bout of rapid heartbeat, anxiety/panic this morning upon waking....worse than the usual. Maybe it's partially because of a good, but very depressing mini series I watched on HBO last night (Olive Kitteridge), I don't know, but this was a dilly of an attack. I was sure I'd be waking my son up to take me to the ER. This particular round of anxiety has been going on for over three months and i'm trying to come up with a reason. I do have financial worries because of now being forcibly retired (layoff) and solely dependent on Social Security and a small part time job caring for a lady (not that much older than me ) with ALS (which can be depressing in itself), a family that always seems to be bickering with eachother and a general fear of "what's going to happen to me" as I continue to age. And maybe I've just answered my own question here but so many people have worse situations than I do, yet they aren't paralyzed with anxiety the way I am. I hate this condition so much but you'd think I'd be used to it after all these years....been suffering on and off since early twenties (with many years of being anxiety free). I've always been a fearful person (ingrained in me by my mother since childhood) and I know that's one of the reasons people have anxiety but it still doesn't help knowing these things when an attack hits. And another issue I have which my family feels strongly is a big reason for my anxiety, is health anxiety which ironically keeps me from going to a doctor for fear of what I'll find out I have. They may be very right about this but it's been there all my life and its a very debilitating one. I'm wondering if I found a new therapist (the one I was going to last year was just a pill pusher with no real interest) and discussed this part of my fear, if I could somehow muster the strength to get to a good doctor and have the courage to find out what, if anything, is going on physically with me. As Im writing all this gobbledy gook which you've probably heard before from me, the heartrate is slowing down and I feel like I've just had a good therapy session already. I thank God that this forum is here...it really is the best therapy I can get because so many of you know what I'm experiencing and are never judgemental like so many other people and therapists are...."just do it" so many of them say, yet they have NO idea of how hard "just doing it" is for me. A lifelong habit of health anxiety and fear are not that easy to break. Anyway, for now I guess I'll just thank you all in advance for listening to this cowardly old fool and for just understanding. I think that's what I need most...that understanding that's so hard for people who have no idea what this disease is all about.

Hi Andwes,

Sorry to hear of your rough morning. :( I am grateful to you for sharing your story and your concerns with us. I hope that we can help you along and bear a part of this stress/anxiety with you. I'm not completely versed in retirement, but I know that it can be tough for many people financially at that time. I'm not sure if you are a Christian, or have come to know Jesus as your savior, but there's a Bible verse that gave me a lot of comfort when I was struggling financially as a single Mom. It really puts things into perspective.....for me at least. I'm not sure if it will mean anything to you, but figured I'd give it a try. :)



It's from the book of Matthew. These are words straight from the mouth of Jesus. :)

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

A.,

Glad to read in another post that your meds have helped you to feel calmer...that is good new.:)

Try not to anticipate any other episodes for the rest of today, or tomorrow. It very well may not happen, you will feel great...and it will have been wasted worry energy!

I do encourage you to keep moving in the right direction and consider a new therapist who will work with you on the H/A issues. You have already made great strides...remember going to your eye appointment? That was HUGE (even if it didn't work out, you STILL WENT!!)

Continue this momentum and see where it takes you!!

Hugs and high fives!!

S.C.