Anger can it really be overcome

I have been angry my entire life... ok actually I was pretty happy kid until about the 3rd grade when my step father started to molest me. Life changed after that and not for the better for me. My mother caught my step father rubbing me when I was in the 8th grade. After that she was mad but did nothing until one night when he was drunk and mean she wanted the cops to get him out of the house so she turned him in. He went to jail for 9 months; for 7 of those 9 months she made me go to visit him in jail every sunday. when he got out of jail he was not suppose to live with children under 18 again but this was 1976 so no one ever checked on us. He moved back home when my mother called me ***** until I finally moved out when I turned 18.

My life has been so full of ups and down and I have met some amazing partners unfortunately my anger, yelling, depression etc. has pushed them all away. I am now 53 yrs old just survived breast cancer and realize that I need to heal this ugly black on the inside of me. My partner of 2.5 years has rejected me sexually for over a year saying it is because I am so angry and ugly on the inside. That she has carried me long enough and that I need to get through my anger issues on my own or else..

I have started anger management class it is a 6 week long course I pray that it helps me. I have read so many books, I have been to counciling but I have never been able to tap into the pain of what happened to me.. I feel rejection, blame, shame, guilt over everything, I somehow believe I have the power to make others happy, sad etc. what is wrong with me and is there any hope?

Hello UI and welcome.

I too am sorry to hear about your painful past, and the issues that it has burdened you with in the present.

It is indeed commendable that you are seeking help for yourself and your realationship! Great job on getting connected with your anger management course. I hope that you gain much insight and benefit to help you through what you learn there!

One phrase that really stuck out at me in your post was in regards to never being able to tap into the source of your pain. Have you heard of or tried EMDR or EFT type therapy?

This is a technique that a qualified therapist takes the patient through in order to release/unlock deeply embedded trauma. It has been successful for victims of abuse such as you describe.

If you would like me to post some links with more information, let me know, and I will be happy to do so.

Wishing you the best, and inviting you to post with us anytime with anxiety concerns. We are here to listen and support you.

Scaredy Cat