Really BAD Anxiety...Hypochondriac

I have really bad anxiety

I'm a hypochondriac for sure.

This year has been really bad. The only good thing is that I got engaged. I'm very happy with my fiance!

I'm the only child and moved out of my parents house and with my fiance and his family about 5 months ago. HUGE LIFE CHANGE for me! I never had left home and I am very close to my parents (I am the only child)

Since the beginning of the year, I have been experiencing physical symptoms that has led to every test being done. In January, I began experiencing tingling in my toes and fingers (I did sleep the wrong way during this time--also my job was me sitting at a computer all day, having horrible posture, being tense in neck area)

I had a CT scan on my brain (thinking I had a brain tumor) it was negative.
I had blood work done , EKG...negative

Still experiencing the tingling (electric sensations that would last only 1 second) I went to a neurologist. He did a physical exam and found I had some carpal tunnel in my arms. At this time, I was worried I had MS. He sent me for a brain MRI...negative.

I went to a chiropractor and there he said upon touching my neck was "that's not normal" I freaked when he said that. But he reassured me that he'd solve the neck problems. He cracked my neck, back and hips as well as aligning my legs (one looked shorter) he also gave me carpal tunnel exercises to do.

After about a month later, I started having digestive issues. I went to the hospital where they did an ultrasound on my abdomen...negative. The doc said I had IBS. I had a lot of gas inside of me.

Weeks later, I felt a tight feeling under breastbone. I thought I had stomach cancer or an ulcer. I went to the gastro doc, where she sent me for an upper GI with small intestine follow through test...negative.

about a month ago, I slept the wrong way. I started feeling some tingling (but not as much as the first time)
Every time I would turn my neck it would making crunchy noises. With the neck problems I felt a tense feeling in the back of my head. Not a headache but I could feel the nerve stinging (felt like a trickling water) VERY SCARY FEELING! Then my jaw started hurting and feeling stiff. I do clench my teeth (anxious habit)
Every one I have told about my symptoms says anxiety. "It's all in your head"...I'm so fed up with this feeling! This past week I have been nauseous. I also having been having GERD like symptoms. Not sure if it's actually GERD or my anxiety causing it.

I have taken anxiety meds for a short time. Currently not on them (weaned my self off with docs ok) I don't want to take them again! My dad thinks I need to for some months. I have noticed that my anxiety has made me more forgetful. I also am planning a wedding, as well as living with my fiance and his family, leaving home for the first time, so I understand this is new for me.

I just want to feel good. I know I have an issue with my neck, but I fear that I have a brain tumor again. I think negative ALL the time! It's affecting my family (I keep worrying them) I feel bad every time. I have a computer at work and I'm always GOOGLING! Google is toxic! Everyone has told me STOP GOOGLING, but my brain keeps telling me to do it. I have a fear of dying young. I know everyone is going to die one day from something.

I have started doing yoga. It helps but then that fear and anxious feeling comes back. I don't want to take meds. I want to have a family some day and I know I can't be on meds. I also need to control this anxiety in order to have kids.

I want to go to the doc and have blood work done again. I had it done like 6 months ago and everything was fine. I'm just afraid that the doc will look at me and prescribe meds again. I'm just so scared!

Hi!

I'm so sorry for all that you have gone through this past year. I can assure you that you are most definitely not alone. Your entire post sounds like what I could have written about myself in this past year. I, too, have visited the ER, neurologist, cardiologist, as well as my regular doctor several times. Like you, I am healthy and so thankful for that, but I still have a lot of anxiety every time I feel off. Anxiety produces very real physical symptoms. I think reading through posts here you will most definitely see a lot of similarities to what you're going through. It stinks that so many of us suffer with this, but it does help that we have each other. You have found a wonderful community and great resources. I hope you can find some comfort.

Congratulations on your engagement :)

Thank you so much motherearth3, Scaredy Cat, and 1039smooth

Hay! You sound just like me at the moment!!! Apart from different symptoms! I too am planning my wedding, not wanting to be on medication, worrying my family and going insane by googling constantly. It sucks. For the last month I've had a really tight throat and lump in throat feeling plus a heap of other stuff and just got told it's anxiety but it won't go away! Which is making me even more anxious. Never ending. Nice to know there's so many others dealing with similar things :)

NoMorePanic, I took Venlexafine (Effexor) 37.5mg, once a day for 6 weeks and when I was on it my anxiety seemed to be ok. But, I guess the fact that I was on it made me feel weird that I was on anxiety meds. I weaned myself off and did go through some with drawl symptoms. I'm trying really hard to not having to go back and relying on them. It's going to be hard but I have to try to think positive and find alternative ways of controlling my anxiety...(easier said than done, I guess lol)

I agree, anxiety is horrible! Some people just don't fully understand how it feels. It's like one minute you can be ok and the next you can be crying.
I hope you are able to find the right dosage that works for you. Thanks for writing back


Melibu8, thanks for writing back! It's reassuring when someone too is going through similar things. Planning a wedding is very stressful. Worrying my parents and fiance has made me feel so horrible. I don't want anything bad to happen to my parents health due to their worrying about me. I also need to stop complaining to my fiance because I don't want him to think he's marrying someone who keeps saying this is bothering me or that is bothering me. It's really hard
Google is SO BAD! I wish I could block it off of my phone and computer! I hope the feeling in your throat goes away. Just remember to breathe...it will be ok



Hibee, thanks...I'm so glad I found a community that can relate to what I have been experiencing. It's very reassuring! I have seen CBT on the internet but never really looked into it. I will look into it! I have been doing yoga for a few weeks and it seems to help. I have to keep my mind busy with fun things!