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Ugh just having a bad night

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Posted 12/28/2014 12:00 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so sick of obsessing over my heart, over my health in general. Does health anxiety just come to a point where you just stop caring because you'd rather die than worry constantly about dying? I'm so sick of thinking i'm going to die of a heart attack almost EVERY minute of everyday. I have no relief, it is literally constantly on my mind, no matter what i'm doing or how busy I am. I can't enjoy any moments...ever. Because even if i'm not getting chest pains then it's my heart pounding, or it's palpitations, or it's the shortness of breath feeling..I just can't stand it anymore! I'm literally sitting on my couch right now with my boots still on and my jacket close by in case I need to leave quick to go to the ER...even though I sat in the parking lot earlier but left.I'm still getting random chest pains though. It's starting to get to the point that I don't want to be anywhere that's not close to a hospital. This is literally ruining my life and I just see no end to this. I just got my insurance back so I am making an appt with my GP to get on some constant meds and maybe therapy...but if life is always going to be like this then I can't do it.
Posted 12/28/2014 12:47 AM (GMT 0)
GMoon,

In my personal experience, yes, it can get to that point.

I'm glad you have insurance now. Remember what I've said before. It could resolve everything.
Posted 12/28/2014 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
I apologize 1039smooth..what was it that you said that could resolve everything? Not sure how I might of missed that the first time, but I could sure use any advice at this point
Posted 12/28/2014 12:56 AM (GMT 0)
Gastroenterologist
Posted 12/28/2014 1:03 AM (GMT 0)
Oh that's right, yes I am definitely going to mention that to my doctor. I do know for sure 100% that I have some kind of reflux issue, just not sure how bad. I get a lot of heartburn (throatburn), burning stomach, belch a lot, also food gets lodged in my esophagus sometimes when i'm eating and I actually have to vomit to get it up. So I do know that I have some kind of GI issue, but I just can't imagine that's the problem to everything that's going on.

Post Edited (GMoon) : 12/27/2014 6:06:13 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/28/2014 2:07 AM (GMT 0)
I have health anxiety. I used to go no where until I knew where the closest hospital was and is. I try and not be so obsessive over it. I have periods where I succeed and periods where I struggle. After some therapy off and on over many years I have learned that I will have good periods and not so good. During the good, I try and get as much life in as possible. When I am feeling good I try and do as much as I can. Just because I struggle with anxiety does not make me a less important person, or at least I keep telling myself. I have issues, yes they are different than other peoples issues, but I try...You will be ok. Just keep trying.
Posted 12/28/2014 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
Gizmo....thank you for your reply & i'm sorry to hear of your struggles as well! I've always had anxiety/health anxiety to a point..but the last 4ish months (I had my daughter 8 months ago), it's hit a whole new level of obsession and crazy. Before having my daughter I use to get the palpitations and all of that, but never the chest pains. That's something that started the last few months and has scared me to death. I don't know why it just came out of nowhere. I also go through day(s) or hours where I feel positive and tell myself 'Come on there's nothing wrong with you, you're 30 years old and have no reason to have a heart attack!' And i'm ok for a short while...but then I get the days where I feel the pains and my thoughts go right towards the worst possible scenario and all my logical thinking is gone..and as much as I HATE going to the ER I know that once I leave i'll feel ok for a while knowing it wasn't a heart attack. It's just such a vicious cycle!! I love my daughter and love being a mom but this health anxiety makes it where I DREAD being alone with her during the week when her fathers working. I mean I literally do everything in my power to have someone come over or have my parents watch her..I feel like an awful mother!! I just want to feel ok and be able to take care of my daughter the way that I need to
Posted 12/28/2014 3:10 AM (GMT 0)
Hey gmoon,

So, I am SUPER TIRED tonight, so if I don't end up making a TON of sense at the end of this message....that's why. :D zzzz....

Ok, so---I was literally in your same exact shoes starting in February 2014 and running through August 2014. I had chest pains/burning/palpitations/etc... But what I can tell you is that things DID get WAY better. I had to wait quite a while in all of that mess, and yes it was an absolute mess, and no things still aren't perfect, but they are a whole lot more manageable.

I still have palpitations and from time to time I will have a day with random 'chest pains.' But mostly it is just a tightness/discomfort that I get in my chest now. I know how hard it is to be going through this, and I fully believe that seeing your GP is a great step to finding healing for this. Your doc can help find solutions that will work for you and your current situation. Everyone is different, but what worked / works for me is Lexapro (anti-anxiety med), stress relieving activities, coping skills, and relaxation techniques.

Sorry you're having a tough night. :-( Can you turn on a funny show? Or maybe listen to a TED talk on youtube?
Posted 12/28/2014 4:58 AM (GMT 0)
GM.,

Congrats on getting your insurance back!!

I know that talking with your doctor about treatment methods is going to make all the difference for you!!

Have hope and hang in there.:)

S.C.
Posted 12/28/2014 6:01 AM (GMT 0)
Gmoon, you will receive tests when you see your GP it will take a few days to get results, just one thing
i am wondering about and it's a lady thing, but my wife went through this many years ago, after a lady
has a baby her system starts to readjust to the before pregnancy period, some have problems called
post-partem depression, it's not the same with every lady different degrees of feelings and uncertainty, but
i wish you would have them check you for it, its completely controllable and over time you might not need
the meds at all, Peace

Larry ***
Posted 12/30/2014 2:13 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone..you are all such a blessing.
I called my doctors office today and can't get in until January 19th. I'm going to request to see a GI doctor and a cardiologist. I don't know if it's just my anxiety but I really do feel like SOMETHING is wrong with my heart...whether it be PVC's or something along those lines, i just feel like anxiety can't cause everything that I get. It makes me so upset that all of these woman get pregnant and they're all fine and healthy and i'm pregnant and it's miserable..I get constant skipped heartbeats, this feeling that my heart is just beating uncomfortably even if it isn't pounding, or it starts to pound with little exertion.. i'm scared to even exercise or anything! I know that i'm more aware of my heart than most people but I just can't believe that my nothing at all is wrong and my heart is 100% healthy. But we'll see what the doc says. Hope you all are having a great symptom-free night!
Posted 12/30/2014 5:02 AM (GMT 0)
Gmoon, after you get your results and you are ok, "Trust the doctors", so many of our HA folks keep thinking that they missed something, Trust them they will not, then acess your situation and move forward
you will be ok, Peace

Larry ***
Posted 12/30/2014 1:16 PM (GMT 0)
Thank u Larry, if I go to the cardiologist and they truly find nothing wrong then I will trust them and move on (or try my hardest!) I am definetly going to see if I can start some CBT as well. I just want to be normal again so desperately.
Posted 12/31/2014 5:21 AM (GMT 0)
So glad you're getting in to see a doctor. That will be very beneficial. I can relate to the health anxiety. Every panic attack I have, I think I'm having a heart attack and have been to the E.R. numerous times.
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