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Posted 12/28/2014 10:43 PM (GMT 0)
Wow all I can say is I am so glad that Christmas is over, and hopefully the start of a great new year, this is truly what I want.

I have some of the weirdest panic issues that I can barely express, I know some people panic during a panicky situation, oh that's not me, I panic days later and I become bedridden, I literally feel sick. I never remember having a panic attack while I was in a stressful moment, but you can bet your bottom dollar come a day or two I will be in full panic mode, and this I don't get at all, why does it take my body so long to react to panic, almost as if it won't let me panic till later when I should be calm.

My new doctor did explain why this happens, I tried to comprehend what she was saying, and that is why she believes I need therapy SO bad, for some reason I really suppress my emotions, I could cry every day of the week, but I can only cry around certain people, it's as if I have controlled crying spells, like it's okay to cry around you so I will just bawl, but other people I will want to cry when talking with them but can't.

I can honestly say I feel battered and bruised today, and just want to be able to live again, I forgot what it feels like, I have learned so many ways to suppress my emotions, that I don't even know if I would ever be able to have a meaningful relationship or be of any good to anyone.
Posted 12/29/2014 12:45 AM (GMT 0)
Brenda friend-

I insist you look at the resources here or Google CBT. You're a perfect candidate for it. It's essentially counteracting negative thoughts with positive ones.

It feels very very foreign but it's one of those things you have to practice & do even if it feels stupid or feels like it's not helping.

You have a negative loop cycle of thoughts that plays like a broken record in your head. I know bc I struggle with it too.

This is something to start practicing now, even though you're not where you want to be. Remember that character from Saturday Night Live in the 80's, Stuart Smalley? He would look in a mirror and say "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough & doggone it, people like me." LOL!

It would be wise for you to do this! I know we hate looking in the mirror but I've read too many resources that say to do exactly this! You are very worthy & like able. If we lived close, we would be friends, not one doubt & I'm not friends with just anyone!

Time to call for a therapist... Therapy is so beneficial. There will be good, bad & ugly come out but as my mom always says (usually regarding to poop- she's an RN) "better out than in." LOL

HUGS!
Lisa
Posted 12/29/2014 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
BDB,

...the 'aftermath'...I have often called it 'anxiety fallout'...same idea essentially, and I have it too! I get through some really tought times, only to fall apart at a later time!

As well as LS's great advice above, I would encourage you to journal as part of getting the supressed feelings to the surface, and out...where they belong!

Keep posting here with us as well, as venting is very theraputic!

Hoping you feel better soon.:)

S.C.
Posted 12/29/2014 2:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Lisa and S.C for your replies, I am just a mess people, I am at the point I don't know if there is something physically wrong with me or if this is just depression/anxiety, I can't even explain how I feel, I am very shaky and weak feeling, I can only get up for short periods of time and then have to go lay back down.

After lowering the brintellix I can say I had some better days, but the past few days have made up for any good days I've had, as almost as if I don't know if I am coming or going, I am at that point again where I am barely functioning, and when I say that you must believe I am like a complete mess, it's almost too much to handle, I was supposed to get blood work done today and couldn't even go.

I did finally start my period on Christmas Eve(thank you Santa)after not having one for 3 months and it has been a doozy, then I woke up and my eyes and face were very swollen, that scared me a lot, the night before my feet and ankles(cankles) were very swollen, so I made sure to drink all of my water thinking maybe I am holding fluid, I have also had a weird headache for days now.

Whatever is going on with me is starting to scare me, I just don't know how I can physically feel so bad and exhausted when I can barely do a thing....I just don't even know anymore, this is a struggle that I can't even express in words, none would describe it.
Posted 12/29/2014 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
BDB.,

It is likely the edema is from an increase in sodium rich holiday foods...and being on your feet at work for extended periods of time.

Has is resolved now? If not, or it gets worse...making an appointment to go in, just to be checke out by your doc might not be a bad idea.

Well wishes,

S.C.
Posted 12/30/2014 5:00 AM (GMT 0)
Yes S.C. my swelling went down today, although my eyes seem to still be a little swollen, I am wondering if that may be due to allergies(I moved some furniture around and the dust was bad), I'm hoping that is what it is, the feet and ankles are much better, but I did drink tons of water to flush myself out.
Posted 12/30/2014 11:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hi

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment and I can really relate to what you said about suppressing your emotions as I do the same.

I would definitely speak with your GP about getting a referral to do some CBT as I think you will find that very useful have a look at www.moodgym.com for some online CBT that is free.

I hope things improve for you soon and we are here for you if you need us.

Hibee
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