Posted 1/17/2015 8:06 PM (GMT 0)
I had a good night sleep last night with the help of Xanax, but when I woke up I feel soooooo sad, empty and lonely. I let my dog out and sit outside for a moment enjoying the sunlight but booommm the emotions strike me,, sad lonely hopeless empty want to cry.. So went back inside.. Research what to do and went back again outside.. Check the U tube, research about depression because I know I got one anxiety, stress, depression name it.. I was crying outside watching you tube about depression.. Telling myselffff noooo,, I'm not one of them, tears falling in my eyes.. I don't want to accept it I keep denying it to myself..but yeahhhh i am depressed, I guess this is severe now..Went to my husband and cry like no one cares,,he hugs me and keep telling me he's alway be here for me no matter what.. If I need help to go to the doctor he will help me.. I can't imagine life with out him.. I texted my friend to quit my job to her as a baby sitter,,it's feels good.. Right now, I am watching tv with my husband enjoying the bed don't want to get up.. But still I need help from my doctor.. Keep telling my husband only him and me knows I'm dealing this depression.. I know I have been changing my mind since I guess when I was young and grow up with it no focus, no decision.. If I have decided I didn't stick or stand for it.. Sorry guys been posting everyday here, just want to release what's in my mind.. I have a journal but I love to post in here.. Love you guys..