Countryhearts,
Honestly, as a teacher, I can tell you that the fact you care so much about
your education is going to be your salvation. However, the anxiety is no good
.
I am glad you vented, often that helps leaps and bounds in itself. Have you tried any mindfulness exercises? Breathing exercises, or meditation? They can be incredibly powerful tools is giving your brain that mental pause that it needs to re-calibrate to the situation. Also, are you in any cognitive behavior therapy?
Anxiety and stress are the worst, especially with school and work. It is so hard to put it out of our minds. You sound like your are smart and reflective person though, and those skills will really help you turn that corner in your battle with anxiety. We are here for you and good luck!