(No Subject)

I'm scared he won't come back because the past two arguments we've had have been really bad. He ignores me when he wants space and that makes my anxiety worse so I freak out and don't respect the space and freak out and accuse of things that are way far from the truth. I think my PTSD causes trust issues. Once one fight happened and he had lack of communication it was scary to think about the next fight and the next hurt may get worse. I smothered him, and I think to the point where he sees all bad and no good. He sat there with me as I cried for an hour just feeling hopless and held me and rubbed my back. Does that mean he cares? I just am so confused by what he means by its overwhelming. Maybe I'm reading too into it, but that's my anxiety kicking in. Fear of the unknown. He was my one thing I was certain of for my future, but now I feel lost?