My Dad

I'm Gonna sound selfish for a minute. But trust me I am concerned.

So I took my dad to the doctor yesterday. Now starting Wednesday last week he was complaining of fever and chills for a few days then one day he called and said he couldn't stop gagging. I was thankful I wasn't around him. But I asked him if his foot was ok. My dad is diabetic. He's very unclean. He doesn't eat right. He smokes 3 packs a day. And drinks about 4 64oz diet Pepsi's a day. about a year or so ago something similar happened and I managed to talk him into going to the hospital. Well anyway he finally told me his foot wasn't ok and it was bleeding. Like last time he had fever, chills and upset stomach. They amputated half his toe. After evaluation they realized the infection was worse and had to cut off the whole side of his foot. So I went with him yesterday and good thing because he was acting happy like nothing was wrong. I spoke up and told the doctor all his symptoms. His toe was triple in size and red and purple.

Now my problem. My dad got in my car when I picked him up. He smelled so bad. I hardly ever say anything but rolled my window down. After they called him back. We sat there and waited. He told me he trimmed his beard but it still has throw up on it. I instantly freak out. He hasn't changed his clothes either so looked like it on his shirt too. He said it wasn't actual throw up. It was from him gagging the other day.

I'm So scared I been exposed. Although logicalky in my brain im sure it's him being sick from his foot. At the doctor they gave him antibiotics and a strong shot. And I think he has an appointment on Friday. But he hadn't eaten. And when they took his blood sugar there it was around 320.

Ugh. Why does my dad have to be so gross!!!!!!

He is a heavy drinker too. Problem is he hasn't given up. I'm the only person who supports him. But he doesn't want it. He wants it from the people who live with him and his girlfriend. And none of them care about him. All they want is money, a car and a roof over their heads. And my dad provides all that for them.

There is approximately 15 people in that house on a dail basis. The people that live there are my dad, his girlfriend, her son (his girlfriend sometimes), her youngest daughter, her other daughter, her boyfriend, their 2 kids, and a friends son. And occasionally 1-3 extra people. His girlfriend is a hoarder. The house is disgusting. There's no functional doors. There's paths everywhere because there's so much stuff and garbage. Walls have tons of holes because of her son throwing fits. The kitchen floor is literally black. They are infested with bugs and rodents. My grandma had pest control out almost every month. But did no good because the house is so dirty they can't spray everywhere. It's really sad. Id love to help but I'm not allowed over there.

Now my dad is mad at me because I'm moving into my grandmas house. But she left me both houses. Mostly so I canbe able to care for his house. But she left me hers so I have a place. Things are so bad :(

I feel your pain. It also embarrassing to say that a family member has such bad hygene that your repulsed. My mother has had these problems for my entire life. I hope I don't sound too bold but has your father been seen for major depression. With all of his issues it sounds like he may be very depressed ie he could care less about himself. My mother has been to every specialist you can think of. In the 90's she was diagnosed by a psychiatrist as psychotic& depressed . they medicated her so much she became a mushroom. Fast foward to currently after moving out of California she was told she could get her va benefit and she started seeing va docs slowly with testing they found her Psycatric problems were neurological in origin. She has been bathing and taking better care of herself and even finally went to a dentist ( dentures ) but at least it is were she needs to be healthier. Your story reminded me so much of my mom. - smoking but she did at one time drink pots of coffee a day. I think sometimes with depression there is this " off" switch that just stops the realization of " self" where it's like being oblivious to the situation. I'm so sorry for you, but here is a (( hug)) and good for you because it would be so much easier to just walk away and not care but good for you for being there for him even though he may even try to get you to go away. I know I have been through it and it is like having a second full time job. I will be praying for you and your family. Sending strength your way.
I know you have a tough road ahead but don't give up. We are here for you.

My dad is 100% disabled vet. He is manic depressive bi polar, with major depression and some other mental issues.

Honestly in the neighborhood he's in. It would cost more to fix his house than I could sell it. His neighbors house was beautiful inside. Beautiful yard and pool. He asked 75,000 for it. And had to settle with 48,000 after 2 years of it on the market.

I'm really mad at my dad today. He gets mad and takes everything out on me. Really bad. He said a ton of hateful things to me today. Then acted like everything was ok. After awhile I ended up getting mean back at him because im sick of him doing it to me. This has been a day from hell.

First bad fighting with my dad. Bad bad.

Then for the past month me and my husband were planning on splitting and divorcing. I been cleaning my grandmas house and slowly moving my stuff in and buying furniture and stuff for the house. Then my husband has been acting off a few days. Now I guess he spaced us splitting. And he thinks everything is ok. Now my head is spinning and I don't know what to say to him. I'm done. It hurts. But I can't be hurt by him anymore. That's why I was moving out. Now what? I was a a** to my dad today because he was being really hateful to me. Do I have to do the same thing to my husband? OMG this is a nightmare!!!!!!!!!

sending many healing thoughts. dealing with similar issues.