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Setback Depression

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Posted 4/23/2015 5:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there everyone.

I had another setback as of a few days ago. I broke down with another panic attack which I think was the result of stress. And now that it's over I'm experiencing the depression portion from the panic attack. I have an irrational fear of dying. But when I have a panic attack it's usually an obsessive thought about me dying, me hurting someone else, or hurting myself. I could never do any of those things, but my brain just really holds onto them. I've been feeling really low and because of such sad thoughts my brain keeps asking me repetitive questions like 'do you really actually want to die?' and the sort. And while I know I don't, and could never hurt myself or another person, it keeps coming back and I envision these scenarios all too well.

Any good advice from someone who's experienced such things? I know I'll feel better in a couple of days, but the waiting can be so difficult.
Posted 4/23/2015 6:46 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Finn,

Do you take any medications? I think these thoughts that you are having have some signs of OCD in them, I sometimes have repetitive thoughts that I no longer love my bf, and as much as devastating that is, I hold on to the fact that if I am worrying about it, it must mean that I do love him. The same goes for you, if you are having these thoughts and worrying about them, it means that that is all they are, just thoughts... Some thoughts are worse than others, but they will pass.. Once the anxiety and depression starts lifting, so will the thoughts.. Just keep holding on...

Healing thoughts your way
Posted 4/23/2015 3:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hey FTH,

Did you have a chance to check this site out? (I mentioned it in your other thread I think...)

Self Help Printable Work Book for OCD and Intrusive Thoughts

http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/obsessioncompulsion.asp



It can be really helpful to challenge those thoughts! Rather than fight them...allow them to come, and then use the worksheets to counter them, thus taking away their fear/hold over you!

I hope that you are feeling better soon. Check out the above site as well as other great self helps in our Resources.

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206

Keep up hope...progress and recovery are possible.:)

S.C.

Posted 4/25/2015 4:46 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the worksheets. I went to see a nurse practitioner who has studied in mental health. My counsellor actually advised her. While I do have an obsessive thought that I fear, I was assured that I don't have OCD. She gave me trazodone for when I feel like I'm going to have a restless night of no sleep. She suggested looking into more Cognitive behavioural Therapy, since my panic attacks are quite spaced out.
Posted 4/25/2015 10:02 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear about this setback. I experienced a similar feeling a few weeks ago where I basically thought I'd have been better off not having been born because of how bad I was. It's vastly out of character for me and actually scared me that I'd think something like that. I ended up having to see my doctor who reassured me that I'm physically fine and I was taking the right steps to recovery.

Use the resources mentioned above, and try to focus on doing something positive, no matter how small.
Posted 4/25/2015 10:52 PM (GMT 0)
Finn,

Glad to hear that you are able to work with this nurse! She sounds wonderful, and I am sure you will gain much help and prospective through her guidance.:)

Keep up the good work! Talk soon.:)

S.C.
Posted 4/25/2015 11:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Finn,

I myself am stuck in a couple week setback. Really horrible but I'm trying my best to stick it out. I'm glad you're able to speak to someone professionaly and are expressing yourself on the forums. Usually the feelings pass buts it tough to realize that when your struggling.
Posted 4/26/2015 1:11 AM (GMT 0)
Nightcrawler, it's always reassuring to know I'm not the only one that feels this way.

It's a very strange sensation, I seem to enter the derealization/depersonlization mode whenever my anxiety and setbacks happen. It's almost like an onslaught of every miserable thing I've ever heard coming as an onslaught about pessimistic perceptions on life. And my rational mind is like "No... that's not really you, and you know that." It's really out of character, as I tend to be more of an optimist, but a realist at the same time. It almost feels like someone really pessimistic and someone angry has entered my body and started having a long argument with each other.

And I'm here like. o_o Guys... it's going to be fine.

But of course rational me just seems to be... seen and not heard.
Since I've been sleeping a lot better, I feel like the setback is lifting a lot faster. And I'm trying my best not to be by myself brooding, but I do enjoy my quiet time.
Posted 4/26/2015 1:17 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Scaredy! :)

And Jennings, yes the feelings do pass as you truck on. Funnily enough when I first had these fears for the first time, about two years ago. I was so scared something bad was going to happen to me and... boom here I am today, still concerned about bad things. It's such a big waste of time to brood about this, and yet it is difficult to stop.

But knowing that this is a setback is definitely helpful in realizing that it will pass. And hopefully once I'm done with school and constant stress... then I'll be able to enjoy my summer. :P
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