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How can you stay strong? Please help me.

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Posted 5/26/2015 9:29 AM (GMT 0)
This is related to the topic I posted here

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=3410767

I seriously am not being able to cope with this pain. I am usually quite strong but this time it has affected me to the point that I have become very unstable. I have spoken to three fortune tellers, 5 different councelors (phone) and I am still suffering. I have been in many relationships in the past, long ones, short ones, and none of them affected me like this.

I believe that the length of time you were with a person has nothing to do with how much they can affect you. You can be with one person for several months and feel a strong bond with them, while you can be with another person for 3 years and never be able to develop a strong connection with them.

I didn't even know this person that long compared to the people I knew in the past. But I did feel a very strong connection with him.

Please can someone with wisdom help me? Why am I suffering so much?

 

Post Edited (melodee) : 5/26/2015 3:33:37 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/26/2015 9:59 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Melodee

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment break up's can take a while to get over.

Is there something you can do to take your mind off things?

We are here for you.

Hibee
Posted 5/26/2015 3:16 PM (GMT 0)
It wasn't exactly a break up. I can't explain the whole story but because of his profession, we were not allowed to have a very open relationship and it all had to end abruptly before I had a chance to speak to him. I think this is the main reason I am suffering.
Posted 5/26/2015 7:32 PM (GMT 0)
Mel,

I was just going to ask if there were particular circumstances that might be leading to the way you are feeling about this...and then I read your above post...

I think I understand...and it may be about the lack of closure. You are likely feeling untethered and very uncomfortable about the uncertain feelings of how things ended quickly, without warning...and in incompleteness of it all...

Anyway you could write down your feelings in a letter? Even if it is never sent to the intended recipient...this can have a really carthartic effect.

With empathty,

S.C.
Posted 5/26/2015 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with SC and writing a letter would be a good start on the healing, of course you don't need to give it him, but rather if you'd like burn it once it's written. Sort of a acceptance on how you are feeling and I way to let go.

I wish your pain would go away, I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I do understand and care.
Posted 5/26/2015 10:12 PM (GMT 0)
SC and Angellisa,

Thank you for your reply and support. I agree with you SC, it's the incompleteness, lack of closure, not being able to communicate enough and express what was on my mind...what I was feeling. I think this 'relationship' was very abnormal in the sense that I was always in a position where I had to 'guess' where our relationship/friendship was heading. How unhealthy.

Thank you for all the great input and advice. Now I feel a bit relieved and have realized that it was the unusual circumstances that made me think I was suffering terribly from this loss and it had nothing to do with my feelings for him. It was more about the uncertainty and lack of communication that made me feel unsure and insecure.

I will trying writing down my feelings.
Posted 5/27/2015 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
I hope that writing it out helps!!

Keep us posted...we are here to listen always!

S.C.
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